A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm at uni and a popular girl with lots of friends.I've fallen out with a guy friend of mine and we fell out badly so that he decided to end the friendship due to a misunderstanding. He was mad as hell. He decided to believe lies spread by 2 bitchy mean girls who were jealous of me. I think the root is power struggles and jealousy.So far I haven't told anyone that me and the guy are no longer friends, even though I'm bursting to tell people because at some point people will ask about him. What do I say? I feel he treated me very badly. However, people always think there's no smoke without fire. Also people are very gossipy and I was always at the center of anything social that was going on, so I might have acquaintances who ask how I am so they can use this as juicy gossip. Also there might be a chance that we become friends again maybe in the future in which case I don't want people knowing my problems in case they use it to their benefit.I know the 2 bitchy girls know he's ended the friendship as they are part of the reason he ended it with me, and I know he's told other girls as well. Clearly he wants to have his say as he feels wronged. However I cannot be sure who he's told and what he's said.How do I handle this? We're all on Facebook and the 2 bitchy girls are best friends with this other girl whom I'm posting nice things about even though I've bitched about 3rd girl which 2 bitchy girls knows about. 3rd girl is best friends with 2 bitchy girls. I'm not really proper friends with 3rd girl.Do I remove 3rd girl as friends on Facebook along with another 2 guys in their gang who are also gossipy. Since this unexpected falling out, I've become paranoid about who I can trust and whether I should remove them from friends from Facebook. Also since I post all the time I don't know if they are finding stuff about me.How do I deal with a friendship break-up.I don't want to involve mutual friends as I want mutual friends to decide themself what they hear is true or not. But I know my guy friend can be aggressive about putting his opinion across. He's also funny. Personally I don't think we can be friends again.I dread meeting up in a social situation as I don't want to be in the same room as him as he hurt me so much. I don't want to smile and say hi either at any time in the future. Basically I want to avoid him. I just don't know how to respond if they ask about this guy as I don't know how much the guy has told them.I'd like to say that if someone tells you bad stuff about someone else that friends would double-check this, but I'm not sure they would, which begs the question what kind of friends are they then? I suppose I will have to go on a charm offensive without actually spilling the beans on why the friendship ended and hope people make judgements on that.Anyone else successfully handled ending of a friendship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Spamalot  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 I haven't successfully handles the ending of a relationship, however I have had problems with this sort of thing on Facebook before.
My strategy for Facebook is completely giving it up for a week or a few days, and let everything blow over. However, if they are really getting up your nose, delete them as 'friends'. If you become friends with them later, you can always re-add them.
If people ask about him, either change the subject or, depending on how much you can trust them/how close you are to them, tell them the truth. There's nothing better than telling people your problems because it does help rather than keeping it bottled up.
Hope it helped & good luck! :)
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