A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My ex hurt me really bad via actions better kept unshared. We no longer communicate, at all. I was emotionally traumatized behind the behavior with which my ex conducted herself with me and decided it better that she and I not even be friends.The grieving process behind my ex was so painful that at certain points I literally believed that I wouldn't be blessed with the strength to see the light of the next day.Thankfully, by the Grace of God, at the very time that my ex shoved her stake through my heart then twisting it once there, I literally fell to my knees and was caught by the wings of a very dear angel who caught me and has never once let me down.I am happy once again.I do NOT stalk my ex. I do NOT sabotage her relationship(s). I do NOT set up fake email accounts and contact her, pretending to be another. I do NOT harbor ill-feelings for her. My ex, on the other hand, is doing all of the aforementioned. It is driving me to my wits end. I need for it to stop. I need for her to allow me to lead my life, without having to look over my shoulder or be in fear of enjoying online sites behind the chance that she has once again located me there, stalking me there, and creating false accounts as a means to interact with me there.I gave my all to my ex, yet that wasn't enough for her. I accept that, and so I let her go. I do NOT understand why she is adamant in her attempt to keep me chained to a past that she closed the door on. She and I are over, done. It's time she let go. She and I are done.I absolutely refuse to take legal actions against her for her harassing illegal behavior. This is NOT an option, at all.Now my dilemma is, what are her motives for conducting herself in this manner for nearly one year, and how can it be addressed and contained without legal intervention, as again I will NOT file legal charges against her, at all.I do have a heart.Thank You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): NO REASON is an acceptable reason to be passive when being stalked! Do not handle this passively because you know the stalker and might have something left for her. A huge red flag is her inconsistency with don't want but obsessed stalker. Ex's are the most dangerous and threatening stalkers. Act now. Follow the advice given by male reader and birdynumnums.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Everything that birdynumnums has advised should be taken to heart. Engage the law. There comes a point where you have to place your heart on the back burner to secure your life. Your ex surveying you in preparation for her pounce and attack upon you. The way a predator cunningly scopes out his prey before leaping in for the kill. Get on this fast.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You are saying all the right things in your letter - and then we come to the final paragraph... which makes the rest of the letter sound hollow.
Why would you care about her motives if you are truly over her?
You already know the answer to her motivations. She likes this pattern. She is a sadist. She takes pleasure in your pain. Surely that should be more than enough reason to stop trying to empathize or understand her.
My SIL was stalked at 50 by her old university boyfriend who was obviously having a serious mid-life crisis. He decided that their breakup was the one thing he regretted and wanted her back. She gave up her facebook page, changed phone numbers and e-mail addresses; and when he started describing what she was wearing and where she went that day - She called the police and got a restraining order placed on him.
You have got to take this seriously and make serious moves to put her behind you by forcing and cutting any conceivable ties with her, up to and including using legal methods and the police. She isn't just a bad smell in the air, she IS in fact, affecting your life more than you care to admit. Deal with this firmly. I'm glad to hear that you have found someone who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated. Getting your ex out of your life once and for all will be a relief for you both and you deserve to move forward together.
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