A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:How do I deal with jealousy of people talking to my friends or change this?I get jealous when other people talk to my friends as they have their attention. I was never like this when I was at high school because I only had a few friends and we all stayed together. It's only when I've gone to uni and become more sociable that I've become jealous of other people talking to my closest friends. Oddly I do talk to other people as well. There are two reasons for this which I recognise but can't seem to change. The first was a bully a school kept turning friends against me and I assumed that no one wanted to be my friend (that lasted 5 years). The other is that my ex left me for another man and I didn't experience jealousy then.My jealousy I now know is based on fear and its the same feeling I get when I see a girl I fancy talking to another guy, yet I talk to other women.I know it sounds selfish that I can talk to other people but others I get jealous with but I'm scared that they'll then not want to be my friend anymore as they've made a new friend and would rather spend time with them than me.How do I change this, I don't want to be some green-eyed monster.
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female
reader, Romani  +, writes (3 August 2010):
It seems that's your Jealousy stems from insecurity. This may she related to your past. The wisest approach to take is to understand your feelings first and foremost. What is it that triggers your jealousy - is it perhaps certain people? Remember that eveyone is unique and friendships are formed for differet reasons. your close friends value you as you value them. However, everyone has the need to meet new people and conversate . Try to enforce wht makes yor friendship strong with your friends and focus on the positive. After all no one wants to bena green monster. Take it from me, I have suffered from the repercussions of a jealous "best friend " and long story short we are no longer friends .
A
female
reader, Jodie-agony aunt-27 +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Most people sometimes experience jealously through friendships or relationships. Its very common, but all you need is a reminder from your friends that you will always stay close friends ;that should stop you from feeling so volumized. Good luck!
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