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How do I deal with his ex-terminator? Should I face her or let him do it, eventually?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 June 2008)
A female South Africa age 41-50, *iven-to-fly writes:

My bf was in a relationship for 7 years with a girl. They have been broken up for about a year now and we have been dating for 7months. She is still a very big part of his life and has managed to scare off most girls he has tried to date after her. When they were together they got 2 dogs and now they have joint custody of the dogs. It seems like she is using them to stay in his life for good.

You see, he does not love her anymore (or so he says) and thinks that she is sick in the head. She is rude to me and completely manages to upset him so much he loses it and starts screaming at her. She phones him, emails him. If he does not return a text or call she phones and screams at him.

I have alot of patience and dont feel threatened by her, just worried that she would go through any lengths to get him back and me out of his life. She hates me. That much I know. She has told him that she is happy for him and me and in the same breath called me a b!tch???

What do I do to solve this little war at home. I feel like im sneaking around behind her back and that she has to know everything that is going on in our life. I need her to know where she is standing with me and that she is upsetting not just him but me too.

Do I talk to her face to face or leave him to do it..... eventually??

View related questions: his ex, text

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2008):

hlskitten agony auntI bet it wasn't hard to ruin any relationship he tried to have after they split, if you have been together 7 months that means he was out there on the hunt for someone else within 5 months? Not normally enough time to learn from the split and get to know himself as a solo person. Especially if they had been together 7 yrs.

I would go as far as to say i reakon you're heading for a fall. They split a year ago now, and she's still a pain in the but? There's a reason for that and he plays a big part in it. He needs to get his own dog. Sometimes we have to walk away from things with a heavy heart, but if he is truly over her, which i doubt, he will know that letting the dogs go and putting you first is paramount now. They aren't children.

Good luck.

C xxxxx

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 June 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntThis problem can only be solved by your boyfriend. He's the one that has to stand up to the shrew, not you. (sorry about the rhyme). Really he needs to grow a backbone and tell her to back off. He should take one dog and she can have the other, then she can be out of your lives once and for all. If he doesn't agree to this then he must be fine with her bugging him.

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