A
female
age
26-29,
*ust call me Maya
writes:Hey. So I used to be seeing this boy, let's call him Matt, and we were together for a while, it started off well and we were really happy but we went through a rough patch in our relationship and he ended up braking up with me, telling me that we don't see much of each other anymore, which wasn't true but I couldnt convince him otherwise no natter what I said! A few months after this happened, he told me that he still loves me. However I didn't want to get my heart broken again so I didnt do anything to really take things further and to be honest, he didn't either! We began talking more and spending more time together again and it was really nice! The more time we spent together, the closer we got and we ended up being best friends! A further few months later, after just spending three full days together in an close and personal environment, with him telling me that he misses me and is still in love with me, I found out that he is now seeing another girl, one who he had been in a relationship with before me. I was heart broken but I knew he hadn't done it to upset me, he thought I didn't want him and I understand that! He has now been with her for a few months and yet he still tells me that he misses me and loves me. He tells me that he likes spending time with me more than with anyone else and he knows I feel the same way. He always tells me he is really confused because he is with this other girl but still had feelings for me. I don't know what to do because I would never want to come between a couple and I'd hate it if anyone got hurt because of me because I don't do things like that. I miss him so much it hurts and I know he feels the same. I can't ever stop being friends with him because even his friendship means too much to me and he would be impossible to avoid! Please help me, I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, Just call me Maya +, writes (20 June 2012):
Just call me Maya is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice.
Yes I think that he would rather be dating me but he's seeing this other girl now, yet he still says these things to me! He knew from the start that I felt the same way and it was him as well as me that decide not to take it further at that point! I do want to be with him, and I think that he does too but there's this other girl now...
I understand that it would be hard for us to stay friends because we both still have feelings for each other, but our friendship is going well, however I know the only thing stopping us being together again is obviously his new girlfriend! And this is why I'm finding it hard to know what to do or even how I should feel?
A
male
reader, Itxi +, writes (20 June 2012):
 It's quite obvious from what he says and the way he's acting that he'd rather be dating you than be friends. When he realised that you just want to be friends he decided that he had to move on.
I hate to say it but sometimes if two people have been in a relationship they can't really be friends, one will always have feelings for the other and a dynamic like that can't last.
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