A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, it's true, normality will never exist in my life but because I have been severely punished over this fact again and again by far more than just bullies and tyrants.I have started to despise myself for it. It all started when I entered the public schools system in first grade when I greatly excelled in most subjects and did extremely poor in two due to the fact that that I have an intelligence spread disorder and was thought of as a freak by the school board and was either isolated from the general population of kids and placed with those with down syndrome or treated like an idiot in front of the normal kids. Teachers would often blame me and two even said "If you can't get an education here it's not my fault! We only educate normal kids here!, so if you're different mabey you belong somewhere else! It's the different ones like you that always cause the world trouble!", "Why can't you be normal or stupid here like everyone else! Maybe you should be discharged from the school like all of the other gifted little brats and stop ruining the education of all of my dumb kids!!" sure enough I scored an overall I.Q. of 124 and got discharged from the school in which my Mother homeschooled me through 8th grade.The problems that I faced at home were with my overly over-protective Mother who wouldn't let me out of the house without her permission or a hysterical meltdown would follow even if it were stepping out into the yard and a suicidal Father who would threaten to do the deed of ending his life every night and would tell me about how I had failed him as a son for five hours straight each day.I was allowed to play with and make friends of both genders although my Father wasn't keen on me having female friends(especially if they deemed me as being cute). I then had enough hell and high water at a private high school which mimiced a radical well known church to fill volumes beyond what my folkes or early life had done to me plus the swift and guiltless betrayal by a few friends which I had known for six yars and had given up potential girlfriends just to keep as friends. I had wanted to go to college out of state or a far flung corner of (my state) at worst but my Father described how I would be plummeted into sutdent debt if I left town and essentially explained that there is not enough money on heaven, hell, or earth that could get me out of state for college and if I did find a way the rest of my life would be miserable because of student loan debt. After eight arguments with not taking "I'm leaving town!" for an answer I felt as if I were forced and shafted into spending the most vital years of my life in the social structure that had treated me like ^^^t for so long and I have barely scratched the surface of the tip of the iceberg of abuse that I had to endure of my stateDespite all of this I have hand many guys wanting to be buddies and lines of girls wanting to be my dates but I feel extremely unworthy of them and wonder how these individuals could want to be the company and potential lovers of such an outcast to American society at large. Is it posible to truly love or befriend someone so out of touch with what American society says "I should have been" and "Should be". Can I survive with every fiber of my being, the righteous, good, bad, and dark sides of me are all abnormal and different and conform to a social structure that demands either conformity or damnation. How can I deal with this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (7 July 2013):
 First off I think you are probably living in a community that does not value difference. Don't name the place - that actual place is not needed as there are many places like that.
But there are also other places that value difference.
You are certainly old enough to spread your wings, Even a Mom who is overly fussy about keeping you in cotton wool should not be able to dictate your life any more.
Rather than education right now, how would you feel about some travel? To see some places much further afield that do value difference? Some travel will educate you far better than just one year of education. Travel IS education.
Different countries are different cultures. Where what is valued in one culture is not value in another culture. It is a good way to see that A is not always the same as A in another place.
Or study anthropology to really see what I am trying to say to you.
The cost of overseas travel if you are prepared to backpack and stay in cheaper places is very achievable. And a great learning experience.
You already mention that you get on well with some peers.
Spread your wings and visit other lands and places.
You need to experience life where people can value you and not put you into a Category they define and not try to put you down with ignorant remarks and ignorant attitudes.
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