A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've always been a very lonely person. Bullied at high school, I never got a real date until I was 22. This guy appeared and we got along very well. We became a couple and went steady for 3.5 years. But ever since our 5th month I found resistance from my mother: she would criticize him and be hostile towards me every time I went out with him. We tried to deal with it but I somehow became more and more depressed over time. Her attacks were also more obvious.Then last year our plans of moving in together were delayed by him changing jobs. His new job changed hima little, making him a little more shallow than he was. I coped with it, but it made us weaker somehow.I am given 2 holiday weeks at my job. This year my mother persuaded me to take my sister out for a week and use the other to go with my boyfriend. I agreed, so I went with my sister and he went with his family. But after I had taken the 1st week she told me I would have to use the 2nd to stay at home while she was away. I dealt with it but he didn't quite like it. We were having trouble, but (since we had been seprarate for a week in october) we didn't want to make a decision we would regret.9 days before my birthday he told me that his boss had told him he had to take his 2nd holiday week on the week of my birthday (it was a monday) and that he would go away with his sister for a 5 days vacation, leaving the night before my birthday. I got really upset, specially because when he told me he had already set everything up without asking if it bothered me. I also thought about what my family would say when they learned. So I refused to see him or talk to him until he returned. When he did I had had time to think and was ready to forgive, apologise and try to move on. But when we met I saw he had taken off his ring (when we get engaged here we both wear rings). So we broke up. He wants to be friends and seems to be over it, but I can't...I am really bitter. Towards my mother, for getting in my way. Towards his friends, for advising him to leave me on my birthday. To myself, for acting the way I did.This is my first breakup. And I am already wondering if I'll ever love again. How do I deal with this?
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broke up, bullied, depressed, engaged, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Shamandalie +, writes (10 March 2008):
Thanks so much. I decided to register. I like this site and I think I can give advice to people as well out of this and other experiences. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'll get by I guess. I'll try working on my self esteem now.
Thanks a lot Mandy!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Thats ok hun thats what my mum is like and im 45 WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS! If you feel sad message me anytime love I hope you feel better real soon, TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Thank you so much. My mum's not on her own. She's bveen married to my dad for nearly 30 years. But she is possessive, since she quit her work to raise me and my siblings and now that we've grown up she refuses to see it.
Thank you for the links. I'm also considering getting help from a psycologist. My ex bf always suggested that to me, but at first I didn't have any money so I thought I would do it as soon as I had a job, but then I was scared my parents would find out (they don't like psychotherapy).
What hurts me the most is that he always tried to help me. He always told me I was suffering from depression and that I never did what I set out to do. I somehow feel I failed him. On the other hand I cannot understand how he left me on my birthday like that, without even consulting me.
I'll take a look at those links now. Thanks a lot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Oh Hunny
I really feel for you this is a very hard time for you and I agree your mum unfortunatly did not help your situation. Is she on her own hunny? As sometimes if this is the case then your life will made to feel as if you have to be there for her and anything you do will be critizised..Plus if you have been bullied at school that can leave scars this happened to me hun untill Id had just about as much as I could take, I understand how that all feels... My mum bless her can be somewhat possesive and she made it terribly difficult for me when I met my fiance and she did not make him feel at all welcome and if he had not been the person he is I feel that would have been enough for anyone to run a mile....Im going to send you a few links on self esteem and self confidence so hopefully you can gain your back.
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
http://www.a1articles.com/article_466229_24.html
Hunny I hope this helps you a little if you need to chat message me anytime TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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