A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This might be a strange question, but I don't know who else to ask. I'm a virgin and it's only that way because I have some trust issues and want to lose it to someone that I actually trust and I know - not just some random guy at a party. I am going on vacation in a few months with my best friend, who happens to be a guy. He's been my best friend for years and he basically knows everything about me. Within the last year I have realized that I'm falling in love with him, so I told him and he said he felt the same way. The only problem is that he moved 500 miles away for a job. We talk on the phone all the time and have both sort of hinted that we might want to have sex while on vacation. The question is, should I do it? He's someone I trust and love a lot and that is the good part. But since our feelings have turned more than "just friends," would it be a bad idea to have sex considering we couldn't actually be together because of the distance?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your responses. I don't feel pressured into losing my virginity, but I really do love him so I want to. That's one reason I was asking, because he is someone I trust and I know would never pressure me into anything I did not want to do. I just don't want it to make things "weird" between us. I know he loves me too, but we both know how hard it would be to have a real relationship when we live 500 miles apart. The distance won't last forever though, so who knows...maybe in the future it could work!
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I think it would be a very bad idea. You want someone to cuddle with afterwards, and I don't mean for just a few hours. You want someone to be with you in the days ahead to ask you if you are alright, if the pain has gone away, etc. At least that's what I'm guessing you want. You might not be that type of person. It's up to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): If u are having the slightest doubt, do not give your virginity to your friend. If u have sex with this friend over a weekend, your friendship will instantly change, and unless he is 100% devoted to u, will eventually end up with both of you hurt (mainly u, because u had doubts to begin with and have lost your virginity). If u believe in marriage, wait, and give your virginity to your husband.
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A
female
reader, angel2311 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Well in order to answer ur question I'm goin to have to tell you how I lost mine. I never wanted to lose my virginity to a boyfriend cause for whatever reason I kinda knew that the relationship wouldn't last. I didn't want to end up with a broken heart knowing that I gave myself to someone I'm no longer with. So I decided to lose it with a friend of mine who I trusted and knew that if I wanted to stop he would. Well when we finally did it right after I noticed myself wanting him more which I need looked at him like that before we had sex. I know that I had to blow those feelin out of the water 'cause if would hurt me if he would have rejected me from being his girlfriend.( I kept in mind that he was older then me by 2 years and was more experinced) but if didn't stop me from tellin him how I felt. Now I feel like it was that right move FOR ME simply 'cause I wasn't pressured or motovated by anyone. I did it when I was ready without dealin with any kind of heartache. - as for u since he does live kinda far it would be an issue right after the vacation is over 'cause ur goin to want to be around him more and u guy wouldn't be able to see eachother when u please. Long distant relationship are difficult as it is for ppl who already are experienced. To add losing ur viginity to this dude would be painful for u not to be round him 'cause that the first thing u guys are goin to want to do is be round eachother all the time. He might be a great guy for u and the idea of goin to a vacation spot together is super coool 'cuz it would be memorable for the both. Just keep in mind that u only get one first so if ur strong enough to deal being seperated after ya' have sex then more power to u. Just make sure that its u who wants this to happen not him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): Why do you want to loose your virginity? If you find the answer to that, then you have your answer.
Do you just feel that at your age you shouldn't be a virgin anymore? Sorry, not a good reason. Have sex when you find someone you really really want to have sex with.
Loose it to some random guy at a party? Do you want to loose it because then you can sleep around finally? It is your life, but that sentence has me scratching my head. Basically do you want your friend to be your first but not last? If you are afraid you will loose it because you just got to horny at a party, masturbate more, let of some pressure.
Do you really love this guy and want him to be your first? Long distance has nothing to do with it. If you feel this person is the one, then if you are really sure you are ready, go for it. Life is to short to worry about wether it might or might not work out. Even if the long-distance will eventually become to big an obstacle, you don't know, take a chance!
But frankly when you see a lot of girls wonder about loosing their virginity I wonder if they should pick the guy NOT by asking if they want him to the first, but if they want him to be the last.
But hey, you are a female, you won't listen to advice,regret it and then in 10 years post on forums trying to warn young girls about moving to fast.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 March 2008):
 If it feels right do it. As long as afterward you can live knowing you don't have regrets by doing so.
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