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How do I date him again when he broke up with me saying I had bad breath?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 January 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ap writes:

I am so embarrassed! I have been seeing this guy for 2 years, last year we broke up because he was not being affectionate with me.. he then told me that i have really bad breath. I was devastated and went to the dentist and doctor to be checked out, everything was said to be ok. I have asked all my close friends, family and ex if they have ever noticed it and they have all said never. I started to see my ex again after 6 months and we never spoke about it as i felt too embarrassed about it and he never mentioned it. Since being back together i have found it hard to get close to him as my self esteem has been really effected by this and we havent kissed. I maintain good oral hygiene as best i can but last week he stopped getting in contact for about a week, i was gutted. Then he text me saying that he didnt want to upset me but my bad breath was the reason this relationship isnt working. I was heartbroken. He has constantly text me apologizing for upsetting me but how can i ever be near him again after this... or anyone else? My confidence is rock bottom and my heart is broken, my family and friends are all telling me he is evil for saying such things and assure me i dont have a problem. Please help x

View related questions: broke up, confidence, heartbroken, my ex, self esteem, text

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A female reader, zap United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2012):

zap is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thankyou for all the advice, i think what makes me wonder most is that when we are together he wont kiss me even when we make love, he used to all the time when we first met before bringing this up the first time. His sense of smell is realy good, he once told me my hair smelled of tuna... my friend had had tuna and sat next to me 2 hours before! Maybe i should get him a peg eh!!xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012):

I think someone could break up with you due to bad breath or other body odors that they can't tolerate, everyone is so different in what they're sensitive to. But I don't think it would usually take two years to figure this out and they would probably try to work on it with you in a long term relationship instead of breaking up with you if they stayed around that long, so there must be some other reason maybe.

However in case it is bad breath, you should try this website below as most commercial toothpastes contain detergents which dry out your mouth which can cause or add to breath and oral health problems.

You need to brush/rinse after each meal, and floss and drink lots of water. If you do have bad breath even mildly or even if not you should also try a pro-biotic regimen which will cultivate your mouth with good bacteria that fight bad breath. This will give you complete confidence in your breath. Sinus problems can cause bad breath also so you may need to use a seti pot also.

I once went out with someone who had a body odor that I couldn't stand- it wasn't bo per say, it was just his odor. We only went out 1-2x as I couldn't stand it.

http://www.therabreath.com/

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (3 January 2012):

Sugarbuns agony auntOMG! That is so sad! I feel horrible for you. As a woman we always obsess about our breth. I'm assuming you chewed gum, or used mints when you had to get "close" to him. But even with that, some people really do have a high sensitivity to certain smells. I also kind of wonder if male annon was right, and he just used that as an excuse to break it off when in reality, he just met someone else and didn't have the nerve to tell you the truth. I dont' know what's worse because you never get those thoughts out of your head after someoen tells you something like that and it will no doubt haunt you in the next relationship and the next, always worrying that what he disclosed may be true, and others will feel the same way. If you practice good oral health it could be something in your digestive system or sinuses. Some digestive problems create odors that come up from your digestive tract causing unusual odors. Also if you have sinus problems, it can block your ability to taste what others smell. My first husband had horrible sinus problems and his breath was usually kinda stinky as a result. I would keep gum handy and slip him a piece when we were in close proximity of each other, like sitting in church etc. He really couldn't help it and I would have never made him feel bad by being so blunt. His nose was so plugged up he honestly couldn't smell it or taste it but other people could. This might be your problem too? At any rate it is going to take you a long time to get over this. In the meantime, keep some gum handy, brush after every meal (yes, I keep a travel toothbrush in my purse) floss every day, gargle a few times a day and stay away from odiferous foods like garlic, onions, and broccoli which can emit foul odors in anyone. I wish you the best.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (3 January 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntAsk your doctor and dentist to write letters about them finding no problem, send them to him with a suggestion he visit a psychologist, because obviously the problem must be with him, and tell him you dont want to see him again until he has the problem sorted.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2012):

No one break up after two years because of bad breath. That is not the reason you two broke up. He's a jerk and a coward for not telling you the real reason.

What a pathetic loser this guy is. I'm sorry to hear that this is affecting you so. Please try to appreciate that people break up all the time for genuine reasons, not something trivial that a box of breath mints can take care of. This guy is unbelievable...

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