A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so my friend met this guy on myspace who wants to "take her out." usually i wouldnt care so much only my friend is 13 and he is 27. she says "i dont care i need affection blah blah blah". I'm trying to convince her that she is being stupid but i dont know how please help?
View related questions:
myspace, older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): ohmigod! y would ur friend do that!?! he is much older and well... wants a LOT more! he could rape her or something!my parents told me 2 watch out cuz even 14, 15, 16 year old guys could rape u! tall her tht...if it doesnt work then maybe u should talk 2 her parents. and if they dont do anything they r not the type of people u should deal with. hope it helped. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Tell her mom and dad, someone in authority, because a guy at 27 going out with a 13 year old is something seriously wrong, and could be dangerous or worse for that 13 year old child. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And if she wants affection, try to encourage her mom and sisters. Don't just let her do that !
...............................
A
female
reader, melani 19 +, writes (8 August 2010):
I've been there as a 13 year old and he was 22. Tell her mom, that is why kids need mom's, to take care of and protect their kids. In my case, nothing good came from that relationship, and in looking back as an adult, I understand that I was entirely misguided by my emotional needs and he was sick, unnatural, and warped. It was entirely a manipulative situation, with me, the 13 year old the only one who was damaged. It can lead to a pattern of self-sabotage in the arena of relationships (falling prey to try and balance our own emotional needs), rather than building relationships based on trust and respect and values.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): You can't convince her. Let go of that one.
Report this guy to the police, and have their next meeting staked out. That may help convince her, but ultimately it's a shot at protecting your friend. This isn't a power struggle as much as it is a huge LEGAL and SAFETY issue.
For a demo, check out 20/20's case study of an actor who posed as a 13 year old girl meeting up with online predators at a beach house and the cops cuffed and hauled each one of those dudes.
You are in a position to protect a child. Are you going to do it?
...............................
A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 There is something not right with this bloke, there is absolutely no reason why a 27 year old would have anything in common with a 13 year old, I see red flags everywhere.
I would again warn her, telling her what you have learnt from here, i.e Illegal, sex offender, etc, and if she still insists on meeting him, find out when and where, and tell her mum, but dont go with her, neither of you know nothing about him, and it could end up bad for you both.
But I would definately tell her mum,either directly, or through your mum or a teacher/adviser at school, it may cause problems with your friendship, but i think that will be short lived, and you could be saving her life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Seshen  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Tell her that you understand that she wants attention and love, but that the way she is seeking it will only hurt her and make her regret her actions. If you nag a friend they tend not to listen and will do just the opposite of what you wanted, you have to get on a level of understanding with her instead of just telling her how wrong it is. You have to make her understand that what she thinks she wants in such an older man is NOT what he wants and she cannot find what she is looking for (i.e. attention, love, caring) in a man who will just want sex from her.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Yeah, 13 and a 27 year old is completely nuts. Tell her that it's not only stupid, but highly illegal. Tell her that if the guy were to be caught with a 13 year old, he would have to register as a sex offender for life. Tell her that a 27 year old is only interested in one thing - misbalance of sexual power.
...............................
A
female
reader, 987654321 +, writes (8 August 2010):
I have been there before ! im 14 and my friend did the same but i sat her down and told her what could happen and everything she said she didn't care ! so the only that was left was to her her mum, She was happy i told her. Her Mum wouldn't let her go and also toke her laptop away from her for a while. She was pissed with me at first but in the end she said i was right with telling her mum she was making a big mistake also we found out a month or two later that he was charged with grooming for something like that!
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Does he know how old she is? Best idea would be for her NOT to see him. If she really wants to go ahead then I would suggest that you ask her if you can go with her. A man of 27 would NEVER be interested in a child of 13 unless he has an ulterior motive (or doesn't know her true age.) If she still wants to go alone then I would tell her mom!
~Eve~
...............................
A
female
reader, Lotsalove. +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Okay, she is 13 and he's 27.. thats more than twice her age. I take it this 'man' knows shes 13? If so, he's already broken the law. She's not at the legal age of having sex (16) and i highly doubt this guy just wants to take her for a walk in the park. This could get very dangerous, she's way too young to be going out with anybody, let alone a full grown man.
I praise you for coming forward with this and your concerns. If she continues to not listen to you, then find out as much information as you can about if they are going to meet, such as location, date and time. If she's serious about going to meet this man, then you need to tell her parents asap. I know its your friendship thats on the line, but it could be her childhood...even life.. ripped away from her if you dont tell them.
...............................
|
