A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone , i really need everyones advices,my ldr girlfriend suddenly broke up with me claiming that she doesnt want a relationship anymore, she said its not coz of the relationship it self, its coz of her , but i dont get how she could just feel like this suddenly , i mean we had ups and downs , lots of them though but i know she loves me even if she didnt show it lately ,i dont know what to do , how do i get her back , i love her so much ,,but i dont know how to convince her to get back , shall i give her some time or just disapear for sometime and then get back talking to her or i dont know thanks a lot
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male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (4 November 2010):
I've been there, my friend. We had a great relationship that overall was consistent and loving, but once college came along and we had to become long distance, after so long she just couldn't do it. She said it was because of her.
Fortunately, we got back together and this is exactly what I did:
-Made an effort to call her, just to talk and catch up. Do NOT talk about the relationship; she probably misses how things started out when you could just talk about goofy things and be casual. Once the relationship gets serious, things become more boring. Just talk about life and dumb little things that happened to you that day or a funny YouTube video you saw. Something dumb, but light hearted to make her laugh with you.
-Give her space at first. This is key. She needs the time to think over her decision. If you try and win her back right away, she'll push away even more, or get back together out of guilt, which will only lead to another break up later once she regrets it. Give her time to really miss you and realize how much she gave up.
-Don't be a creeper. Kind of funny, but it needs to be said. Even though I told you to call her, don't do it all the time. Don't text her raunchy things or sappy things that say you miss you. She needs her space. If you do really feel the need to contact her, don't say anything along the lines of "love", "miss", or anything of that sort. Just make your conversations fun. And NOT frequent. In fact, for the first week, don't contact her at all. Maybe in a week or so, you can send a little message of something funny.
With all these things done, and done right, eventually she'll start remember the great times you had. This doesn't guarantee she'll want to get back together. Sometimes the pieces just don't fit together. But I think this gives you the best shot.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Arod310 +, writes (4 November 2010):
Hey dude, hows it goin? Anyways I say yes it is possible for you guys to get back together. I know what you are going through cause yeah long distance relationships do suck but they can be worked out with time and what I mean by that is you have to have patience with her and kinda give her space as of right now but things can heal over time. Even if you guys are broken up right now things can get better by showing her how much you care for her still but don't over do it by calling her constantly cause girls seem to hate that. Take her out one day and show her that you guys can work things out like take her out for lunch or whatever but keep your head up dude. Love is patient...Love is kind. if you really love this girl don't give up man!
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (4 November 2010):
As harsh as it sounds, there is probably very little you can do. she has made her decision and using the reason "it's her" usually means there is more to it that she is not letting on.
it can be incredibly frustrating not knowing the reasons why, particularly if you love her and this has come out of the blue.
you need to let her know your feelings for her and that you would like to keep things going, but if she really doesn't feel the same, then she owes it to you to give you an explanation to put your mind at rest.
However, prepare yourself for the worst if she does reveal her reasons.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart6  +, writes (4 November 2010):
Dear, long distance relationships can be tricky. Sometimes, they feel inadequate. I'm sure you guys love each other a lot. But first, you need to make sure there isn't anyone else in the picture. That's your only hurdle. Once you know that there's no one else, it's possible to get back together.
Stay quiet for a couple of days, then give her a call. Make some small talk, crack a few jokes. Ask her about her day or other important things she's engaged in. Once she sees you're nice and caring and everything, half your work is done. Then you can talk about sweet things, remember the good times, share childhood stories or something... Open up a communication channel- nice and wide. Then, thank her for the things that she did for you, openly cherish all the good stuff you had. You can get a little emotional here. Once you start off with it, the conversation will sail smoothly, and before you know it, both of you will be teary eyed and apologetic and make up and everything. Once you do, waste no time and pay her a visit to seal the deal ;)
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (4 November 2010):
 It's pretty much impossible to give the best advice we can without knowing what's wrong with her. Have you told we how you felt because if you do she might offer an explanation.
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