A
female
age
36-40,
*nna_McVann
writes:I know around the teenage years people are trying to find themselves, and try to become comfortable in their skin. I have two sides, if I may:1) I can be so polite, friendly, sensative, very easy going and just all around fun. 2) All around fun, rude in a poke fun kind of way, more rough and a little more insesnative. Still friendly just more cruel.It seems these two sides of me only show depending on who I am with. Mostly with my friends only this happens.Male friends, it's number 2.Female friends, it's number 1.But as of lately, I have been leaning towards number two towards my female friends, whom are far more sensative and heavy hearted than my male friends. So when I joke like I do with my guy friends they get offened so easily when they know that I am just fooling around.Just seems my problem is, I can't seem to control my sides.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anna_McVann +, writes (17 October 2007):
Anna_McVann is verified as being by the original poster of the question I really appreciate people answering this question, sense I've been in high school this has been a major problem.
Thank you very much for taking the time and reading this.
A
female
reader, Aunt Lou Lou  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 It sounds to me that you are almost trying to be someone who you are not, in order to fit in with the guys. Naturally you should be the same person whoever you are around. This sounds a bit extreme. i understand that generally its easier to be the number 2 with guys as that is generally the way they are towards other guys and women. they tend to be a little insensitive, poke fun and fool around. its sounds like you have adapted these traits to fit in with them. i think you need to take a step back and try and have a little more girl time. relax! people are going to love you more for who you are. when you are with the guys try not to be number 1 or number 2. just be yourself. even if it may be that its more of number 1.
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A
female
reader, elizabeth1986 +, writes (17 October 2007):
Hi, yeah I am the same!!! I completely change as to who I am around at the time. Sometimes I say things that one group of friends will find funny, and other people look at me like Im really offensive!
You've just got to try and remember who you are around. I think its the same with everything in life. Like in work i am very smiley with customers, but will be crude around my colleagues, and then really girly around one group of friends but more loud around another group of friends. You have to learn to control different sides of your personality. If you notice there are certain triggers,like if u get more offensive after alcohol, maybe try avoiding alcohol around certain people.
Not sure what else to suggest really, just letting you know that your not the only one and i dont think you should stop being friends with certain people because u act differently, its just that your an interesting person and have lots of sids to you. Just focus :-) good luck with that :-)
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