A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I think jealousy is ruining my relationship and I don't know how to control it. With my current b/f I get so paranoid about a couple of the gals at his office, especially when he has to travel out of town. Also, I can't stand it that a couple of his ex-g/f's still i.m or call him sometimes and he's very protective of their "friendship". Couple that with his friendly nature and I feel like I gotta constantly watch him. Why am I like this? When I was married my husband and I never fought about other women. My b/f says it's ruining his feelings for me, but I don't know how to stop it. I guess I've always been the jealous type, but because my husband didn't have any female friends or exes in the picture, it was never a problem. I sometimes think we should've stayed together. What can I do to stop feeling this way?
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female
reader, SAMSAM1127  +, writes (3 October 2007):
 Hey...
I understand 100 percent where you are coming from.
I cannot tell you how many "feelings" I get from other girls and my boyfriend.
But you have to sit yourself in his seat...
Think of it as YOUR the one with an INNOCENT guyfriend whos just that , A FRIEND.
You know he's nothing...but your partner constantly nagging YOU about him.
How would YOU feel...
I thought that way recently when my boyfriend got a friend who happens to be a females screen name...
I Thought - hey theres guy friends i have who I talk to on AIM...and he dosent nag me about them
I should TRUST him.
And it makes me feel much better.
Just talk to him...tell him to HELP you overcome your problem.
It makes things a lot easier when he's in on the problem.
best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sorry but there is some truth to an WebMD article I just read called:
"Unaware You're Having an Affair?
An email here, a smile there. Maybe that "innocent" friendship with your friend isn't so innocent after all. See what the "sexperts" think about the line between friendship and infidelity.....
I don't go off on a jealous tangient easily, but there are some relationships my b/f has that make me uncomfortable. And I do talk to him calmly about it. He's the one that freaks out and starts screaming at me.
Thanks for your advise anyhow.
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A
female
reader, JackieR  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 I am going to be blunt here, yes you are going to ruin your relationship if you don't sort your jealousy out!!
I know it is hard to just stop having paranoid feelings, but you must realise that is what they are. I have a feeling you are a bit insecure, and it is this that is the root of your problem, not your boyfriend cheating.
Start seeing yourself in a different light, obviously your boyfriend see's something in you that makes him stick around. Why do you think your boyfriend wants to be with you? Believe me it is hard staying with someone who never believes a word you say, it wears thin after a while, so if he is worth hanging on to you must change.
By the way going back to your ex just because he had no female friends isn't a great reason to go back, is it? that is just taking the easy way out of not sorting out your real problem and that is your relationship with yourself!!
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, Kay-lee. +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Well, you can either, talk to your boyfriend about it, not shout, or scream, but a simple discussion. Maybe he can understand your paranoia and assure you in some way that you don't have to be jealous because there is nothing going on. If there's a person to assure you then that's him.
Or you can carry on being jealous until you get over it.
Good luck!
Kay-lee. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): Dont waste uneccassary negative energy in a relationship. Ever heard of the saying innocent until proven guilty? So what if he has his ex's as freinds, if he still liked them he would be with them and not you!!
If he knows how insecure you are he will leave you! Look in the mirror every day, tell you self that you are beautiful 10 times and u will start to beleive it.
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