A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do i get over a bad break up? it was a one sided thing, and i wasn't ready to let go, and he did a complete 180 change as a person suddenly, which has hurt me immensely. he went from telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me to saying he thinks about other girls and doesn't think he's right for me. i loved him, and still do. ive been hurting for almost a month now, i can't seem to get through this. most days i just want to crawl into a hole and cry. i don't know how to keep on living anymore, i feel hopeless and like i have no future. how do i continue on after such a big piece of me has left? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthings are getting better. i'm trying to learn to be my own person now, i still get the feelings of hurt, but things get better day by day. Thank you so much for the advice, it really helps.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Aw, heck. I'm sorry to see you are suffering like this.
Without knowing what caused him to go from wanting to spend the rest of his life with you, to suddenly ending it so abruptly, its hard to tell. There must have been something in your relationship that he wasn't happy with.......were you aware of difficulties you both tried to deal with? Maybe you were, and didn't realize they must have loomed so large in his mind.
What's done, unfortunately, is done. You need now to start to tell yourself that facts are facts: it IS over and there's no going back. Remember that he doesn't know his own mind, perhaps, and if that's the way it is, then he is not right for you. Look at it this way: upsetting as it now is, he has, in a sense, done you a big favor by ending it. It can be a new beginning for you; a chance to, in time, when you've recovered from the hurt, meet another man - better still, go on nice dates with several, and don't "jump" at the first one who invites you out!
Sort of like job interviews, you know? You have to find out about the "company" (fella) and what it (he) has to offer. Is what you can contribute to this organization (man) worth what "he" can offer you? There's nothing wrong with this approach: you are taking due consideration and care for your own well-being. If and when you meet a guy who fits your criteria (and he respects you, enjoys your company, etc.) then you'll be able to enjoy the romance and the knowledge that you have met someone with whom you are well-matched.
BUT I'm getting ahead of myself! Before "tackling" any of what I've just said, you need to make sure you eat proper meals, get a good night's sleep, and focus on your job, plus getting out and about: jogging, if you do that, or the gymn, getting together with family, and women friends. Maybe take a trip to the beach or countryside with them; read a book, see a movie, that will engage your attention. Get a massage; do a bit of volunteer work; donate blood.....whatever you find meaningful and enjoyable.
You might also, because you sound a bit depressed, make an appointment with your doctor and talk to him/her. Looking after your health is important! You might also want to ask for a referral to a counselor so that you can get support as you grieve, vent, and explore what has happened and come out of it.......
Last but not least, this guy is not the be-all and end-all. There is so much more to life than him! I do know it seems at present that he's the center of your universe, but there is so much more for you in life........
Hang in there! Let us know how it goes.
...............................
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