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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi,iam 17 years old and have been daeling with a lot,now iam ready for change.iam sexually active but after sitting down and thinking about it i asked myself 1 question (what have i really gained from having sex?)my answer was a lot of heartache,pain,and lieing to my mother.i thought keeping things from mi mom would be ok but know i realize the only way i can better myself is with my moms help.the only problem is this is not my first trying to change.i need to know is how can i get my mom to beleive me this time and confess to her what i have been doing and ge her help??????????? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe last time i tried to change i ended up falling right back i was still having sex and talking to older guys.the thing that makes me go bac is wen iam feeling lonely bcoz i have no bf,want attention,or need sum1 2 talk 2(other mi mom).thats another problem i have 2 deal wit iam attracted to older men i dont kno why but i want 2 stp it.and kno i want saying i want have sex ever.i learned that i should a mature woman to have sex,have mi on place,and job.ALSO SO I WANT HAVE 2 SNEAK AROUND
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2010):
 To gain your mother's trust, you will have to listen to her carefully and do what she tells you .
If you have any problems , you should consult her .Give her the respect and recognition as your mom .
It will take time . Start to do things for her and don't go against her wishes.
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A
male
reader, anysecondnow  +, writes (19 March 2010):
My thoughts aren't very organized.... It sounds like your relationship to your mother is really important to you, and that you could use her love and understanding right now to break out of the downward spiral you are in. My guess is that you have used sex to try to get self esteem, but that it has had the opposite effect. Typical teenage girl stuff ;-)The first thing I would say is that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Of course, you deserve second and third and fourth, etc. chances to get your act together. The main thing is to keep trying and not give up.It would be unrealistic for you to swear off sex forever, but you might take a break for awhile until you were in a better place with the self-esteem. Therapy might help. Your mom might be disappointed in you if she finds out what has been going on, but she certainly loves you and wants to help. She ought to be glad that you reached out to her. It's not so much a matter of confessing everything (all the sex you had, with who, etc.) as it is of simply asking for help.I wish you all the best and I think everything will work out for you. Chin up!
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A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (19 March 2010):
 Can you tell me what happened before? You said "the only problem is this is not my first trying to change.i need to know is how can i get my mom to believe me this time." What does this mean? Get back to me on that I may be able to help but I need more information.
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