A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:these are some of the comments i receive from my boyfriend. fatty,u dress stale.u arent the cleaniness person,u smell. im with u cos i feel sorry for u.your mum is ugly and looks like a witch. im not looking foward to u getting old if u are going to look like that.youve out on weight, its the heaviset ive ever seen u. the cellulite on your bum is like the craters on the moon. your so thick. these are just some off the comments ive had from my boyfriend. if we go out on a nite out and i look good in a dress i will say to him do i look nice? he will say yeah but i dont really thnk that dress shows your figure of the best i liked the other one better! even though alot of these are jokes that he says. and i have said im funny bout my weight not because im fat.ive actually lost 4 stone in weight. and yet that dont seem to be could enough!! he walks round saying he is the ultimate male and woman fall at his feet! im honestly getting down over this. hes making me feel like im worthless to be with him. hes had loads of girlfriend before me and sexual partners nearly 100. its not me is it even though hes joking. it does hurt and i just want to cry. ive was a bubbly girl whos turned into shy inward paranoid person who worries what he is doingf all the time. he goes out without me. never invites me anywhere and yet he always has pleasure in telling me bout all the woman who came on to him that night,he really loves himself.i hate him and yet im scared to be on my own.cos it takes me alot to get myself together and believe in myself as my confence has been shattered that much.
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female
reader, reign154  +, writes (9 August 2009):
God im really sorry that your in this relationship with such an ass. I dont know him personally but just by what ive read it makes me want to slap the taste out of his mouth. Like everyone has said you dont have to be in this relationship and i know if you really try you can get it together and get out before your self esteem hits an all time low. You are a beautiful and woman and thats what you should always remember. dont ever let anyone tell you any different especially a guy because by bringing you down it just shows how worthless they feel about themselves. yeah criticism really hurts especially if its given by the person that suppossedly loves you all the time. i can understand why you would feel that way. but if he is always talking about how many woman fall at his feet than you should tell him that he can sleep with as many women that he wants because you are finished with him. there are so many other guys that would love to be with you and he knows how beautiful you really are but he feels that if he brings you down then you wont leave him and will always fall under his wim. its all about control. this guy has real self esteem issues and these women that he says fall for him are just something that he wishes were true. dont stress yourself over a fatasy of his. If he can get any women that he wants then you can easily say good bye and move on. its not hard to leave the one you love when the only way they love you is by controlling you and mistreating you. for me emotional abuse is worse than physical because the physical scars go away with time but mental abuse stays with a person no matter how much time goes on and honestly you are my hero for putting up with it when you dont have to. I just have to say why live in hell when you can just be free and really live your life. I know you will make the best choice. Love always reign :)
A
male
reader, Ask me anything. +, writes (9 August 2009):
Hi Hunni, I really feel for you, your not in a nice situation at all, and it sounds as if your confidence has taken a massive blow, i bet these questions are going round in your head: Am i good enough for him? Who will want me anyway?Why does he treat me like this? What can I do to make hings better? What am i doing wrong? Whats wrong with me?, i have been in a very similar situation not so long ago, i asked myself all of those questions, and i ended up very ill, i spent 2 years with the girl of my dreams, we were perfect, then all of a sudden, one day she started treating me like crap, then upped and left, no explanations, no questions answered, nothing, i was in a big dark hole, all on my own, i thought very little, and so down, and worthless. But things change, one thing a friend said to me was, "It will get better in time" and after nearly a year, it has done, i have completely changed. I dealt with it by being close to my friends, everyone has a true friend that they can rely on, and at times like this, they will be there for you to hold,and seek comfort in, by the simple fact that this is playing on your mind, shows that you are a caring person, you are kind and considerate, and you prepared to ask, What can i do to make him happy? that is all a man looks for in a woman, those that go for the cheap girls who will drop their pants for a penny, are just seeking fun, but those who are looking for a deep meaningful relationship are looking for the qualities you are offering.Personally, i dont think he loves you, he would not treat you like that consistantly, there may be times when moodswings play a part in what is said and done, but to be like that with you all the time is not right, which ever way you look at it, he is not going to make you happy, not now, and not in the future, you are seeing him for what he is, he thinks the world loves him, i mean, come on, im the bloody king of england if thats the case, no one is perfect. Im sure you remember school days when all your mates would have been talking about who they had slept with, to make themselves look good, how many of those people had actually done it so to speak? that is what you guy is doing, making himself feel good, do you really think girls are falling at his feet? and for those that do, are they really anything in comparison to you, they may offer him a cheap fun night, but can they offer what you are offering him?Sounds like he does what he wants and doesnt think about you, isnt a relationship supposed to be a 2 way thing?The only one thing i can advise you of, is to leave him, he doesnt sound like he's worth the worry or mither, and he doesnt love you, you are wasting valuable time and effort on him, when you ask the question, could he change? well, would he then be the person that you want? there is no mr perfect out there, you just have to make do, but i am a strong believer in the saying, theres someone out there for everyone.True love never dies, you just have to find it first.Be strong, and tell him you've had enough, dont feel you have to explain to him, just let him know its over, and walk away, its the hardest thing to do in the world, and you will always question was it the right thing to do, you will find the answer to that once you have left him.if you do choose to do that, then be along for a while, spend a lot of time with friends and family, and work, occupy yourself, give yourself time to grieve aswell, but only then will you find yourself again, thats the most important thing, find yourself again, and learn to love yourself, once you have done that, mr right will come along.I speak from experience, i was just about to propose to my ex, when i found out she was cheating, it was very difficult to deal with, and i thought my whole world had ended, then i found myself again, as time went on my confdence grew, and i became very happy within myself, then i met the best girl in the whole world, i couldnt get better, she is definetly mrs right.I never thought it would happen, i lost all hope and he will to be me, but time healed te pain, now my past is my past, i hold some good memories, and i have been able to put the bad ones to rest, and move on....Have a think about it.I wish you the best of luck, hold your head high and be proud, you are you, and you have a lot to offer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): dear down hearted,
have you taken the time to wonder why he has had so many lovers????
He keeps you down so you will stay, he says hes great and he could have any woman he wants ... yeah... but guess what?? Getting the ass is never hard....
He cant stay or keep a good woman cause he is a pompas ass... so... if he is sooooo great,, then by alll means let him go. Hand him a 5 dollar bill and tell him his next encounter is on you. Want me to send a check?
You can make it on your own, I want you to do me a favor? Print out your letter, go through it and highlight all the mean things he has said or done to make you feel the way you do. Then, put it away. Take it out the next day and see if there is any new comments or hurtfull ness to add to it. If so, put it down. also put down what you thought of it... exactly what you thought... do not sugar coat it for yourself.
Then ask your self,, When is enough enough? 2 pages, 4, how about 10? How much are you worth? I think you are worth more than you realize but until you see in black and white how he is making you feel... you won't do anything.
I also recommend a good movie "diary of a mad black woman".... Life is not all movies but, sometimes they can help you see what you normally wouldn't.
You are not alone, other people have been where you are, you just need to reach out--- just a little.
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A
female
reader, Swt Txn +, writes (9 August 2009):
You deserve better & need to believe in you. Find a local support group. Don't allow anyone's words to dictate your path & beliefs. I have been there & allowed someone to use me as a doormat, while I paid the bills, tolerated his selfish self & while he lived w/me in MY apartment. You need to know that you are a beautiful person & deserve to be treated as no less. If your partner doesn't give you respect, dedication & is someone who builds you up, he should be history. Even if it takes you a while to get yourself together, you will inhale better, you will smile more, you will see the true inner & outer beauty that he tried to "verbally assault" out of you.. Keep your head up .. Oh yeah,not sure of your religious beliefs, but put God first.. He never sleeps nor slumbers & He's already working it out for you.. GL
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