A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Are some of us meant to be alone all our lives? I'm 20 and I have had 1 or 2 girlfriends but they have only lasted a few weeks. I see other people with boyfriends and girlfriends and I think, they seem great together I wish I could have that. I know it sounds weird that at 20 I'm moaning about this, I am going to Australia in the summer so a girlfriend might be too much at the moment.The reason I feel like I'm probably going to be alone all my life is due to how I interact with people. I am nice but people both at home and at halls in uni always say I can take it too far sometimes. Yet when I get depressed because I hurt someones feelings people ask me to smile. I never see any of my friends at uni having an argument.Therefore I just feel if I'm irritating people who I'm friends with at uni, then no girl would want to have me as a boyfriend.I figured that I just need to have a bit more self confidence and think things through. Although with the latter even if I do people talk over me all the time. How do I build my confidence up and become less irritating?
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (13 January 2008):
 I'm going to overlook the 'become less irritating' factor for the most part, as I believe this is part of your low self-confidence. Other people may or may not find you irritating and perhaps there are parts of your personality that you need to control a little more. It could very well be that you're just giving out the vibe that you're too worried about what you're making others think and feel and this is why people are able to 'talk over you'.In regards to self-confidence, i'm a firm believer in 'you can't love anyone else until you love yourself'. So thinking of yourself in a better light is a start. Stop thinking that you're going to be alone forever and be happy on your own, this will make it easier to attract others because you will feel less vulnerable about being 'alone'. Girls go for confidence, so you've definitely spotted where to start. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and be around people that make you feel good too.
A
female
reader, GracieFaith  +, writes (13 January 2008):
This might sound simplistic, but quiet your mind and listen to your heart for a few minutes every morning before you get out of bed. Listen to your deep inner truth and start thinking about the kind of life you want to create for yourself. When you establish a better sense of who you are you will act more naturally and comfortably around others. (This may take some time, but nothing is more worth your time.) Keep in mind, you don't need to like or be friends with everyone you meet, and everyone you meet doesn't need to like you. Listen for internal clues about who you naturally gravitate toward. Trust yourself and be kind to yourself. (A book you might want to consider reading is The Mastery of Love.) : )
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A
female
reader, lacelady +, writes (13 January 2008):
 Would it be possible to know about your childhood please as i belive there maybe an underlying factor as to why you have a low selfconfidence factor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Everyone annoys each other at times, especially friends. At uni, you are going through the process of finding out more about yourself, so its natural at times you will feel lost and insecure. Thats normal. Dont get stuck in the trap of over analysing everything, and pondering things too much. Live for the moment and have fun. girlfriends come when you least expect them, never when you are looking. it sounds like a cop out but its true. concentrate on going out, having fun, building your friendships and planning for australia. the rest will come when its time.take care xx
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