A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with a complete shit who takes and takes and never thinks of anyone but himself even his family are scared of him how do I build a wall around my heart that he cannot get through? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (16 March 2011):
If you have a wall built up around your heart to protect yourself from someone trying to get in, remember that the wall will also keep you from getting out to experience new relationships. Trust me, I know. It's safe but lonely behind the wall.
A
female
reader, FoX15 +, writes (16 March 2011):
it's difficult to do, even when you know he's bad for you. I've been there. i wasted two years of my life on a guy who treated me badly and used up all that I had until i had nothing left for myself.
I even let a so-called "nice guy" take what he wanted from me.
The important thing is to realize that you need to take care of yourself. I understand that it can be very hard to get away from the guy, to not love him, but life is hard.
You will get over it and you will be stronger because of it. You just need to be strong for yourself right now.
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A
female
reader, brokenangel28 +, writes (16 March 2011):
 You don't. Unfortunately, there are no such thing as "heart shields," otherwise I would have worn one a long time ago. You learn from each relationship or heart-break that you endure. There is no pain like that of which comes from a broken heart, but it's usually worth it. Each time you go through pain, you are one step closer to finding the one who is truly right for you. Sounds cheesy, but nothing good comes easily. You can't build a company without money, and you can't build a prosperous relationship without putting your whole heart into it. If your heart has a wall around it, how will anyone ever find their way in again? No hurt is worth closing the door.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 March 2011):
 hi
you need to keep physically away from him if this is possible? you will not (i think) be able to be fully and effectively detached emotionally from him while you are still within his life, be that as a partner or even relegated to friend status or acquaintance. like any addict will tell you (and in your case - your addiction is HIM) - you will need to go 'cold turkey' and abstain from him completely.
he sounds like he is good at manipulating people and if you have got feelings for him, this is a recipe for YOUR disaster coz he will EASILY manipulate you into doing whatever he wants!
trust me on this i am speaking from experience.
xx
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (15 March 2011):
hi
you need to keep physically away from him if this is possible? you will not (i think) be able to be fully and effectively detached emotionally from him while you are still within his life, be that as a partner or even relegated to friend status or acquaintance. like any addict will tell you (and in your case - your addiction is HIM) - you will need to go 'cold turkey' and abstain from him completely.
he sounds like he is good at manipulating people and if you have got feelings for him, this is a recipe for YOUR disaster coz he will EASILY manipulate you into doing whatever he wants!
trust me on this i am speaking from experience.
xx
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A
female
reader, little_3_eyes +, writes (15 March 2011):
 WEell, if he's a jerk, stay away from him and fill your life with other people and other things.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 I think the way to do that is to not love him anymore. I don't see how you can be so hateful to someone you love. If he is so bad then he obviously doesn't care about you and that should give you all the building material you need to shut him out.
Now I also reccommend not staying with him at this point or at least some form of separation because you two can't co-habitate with each other with those walls put up. With that being said the best wall, and the healthiest one to use would be space between you. You can't damage what is not there.
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