A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been together for over a year, and because of this, I believe a text might be really bad. But the problem with that is that it is a long distance relationship, so I can't meet up with him to do it. Also, we very rarely talk on the phone. We're both really busy with things in our life at this point, and even before we became busy, we gradually began falling out and talking a lot less. I can go several days without talking with him on the phone or through text, but I see him speaking with other people on social networking sites. I try to message him whenever I can, but even then, we never speak for too long. The only time we get to speak on the phone is usually in between my classes while I'm in public, and this usually occurs every other week, at most. So how do I break up with him? I'm really thinking a text is the best possible way.
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female
reader, Cupcake143  +, writes (1 December 2012):
Omg, im having the sam problem but ive been dating him for 4months. It feels like 1year. Anyways just wait he'll text you or call you. But if you really think it's not working out call him and leave him a voicemail saying ur feelings.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (1 December 2012):
Hello again. There is never going to be the perfect time to break up with him.
So it's really a case of now or never.
And especially as you aren't happy with the way things are now, it's all the more reason to take action right away.
The longer you leave it to tell him, the harder it will seem to do it at all.
And as you seem pretty sure this is what you want now, well then it's only holding you back - the longer you wait - from moving on with your own life.
You are currently in limbo, while ever you choose to put it off.
If he won't talk on the phone with you, well then as someone here said, you could text him to say you need to talk and could he call you.
Or the "no contact at all" until he calls you, would be useful - and then talk, and suggest as someone here said, that you assumed it was over because of the lack of communication between you.
Or else as a last resort, write him that letter I was suggesting to you earlier, saying all that's on your mind.
So there are a few options here for you to have a think about.
The longer you leave it, the more frustrating it will become for you, and stressful as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): Have you ever actually met him in person? Or is this all online/phone/text?
I'd text him: "Urgent I speak with you right away, call me ASAP". If he doesn't respond, then break up via text.
Or just stop communicating with him at all and then when he does finally reach out to you, inform him that you thought the relationship was over due to his silence.
Just call him and break up with him. Leave a voice mail if you have to. Why are you subjecting yourself to this?
You don't need to have a talk about WHY the relationship is ending, do you? You just need to end it. So get it done.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat I'm saying is that there's a problem getting him on the phone to do so and Im extremely tired of waiting. Whenever I text him and ask him to talk he usually says he's busy, and when he calls me, it's usually a bad time to talk about something so serious. I don't want to be lounging in the school cafe when he finally calls me. I want to be prepared to say what I need to say and end it, and I'm definitely tired of waiting for a decent time to come up.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (30 November 2012):
 Please don't break up with him by text. In my opinion its the coward's way out. I am a soft spoken person and I HATE confrontations of any sort, but breaking up by text is SO impersonal. Either call him and explain your feelings just like you did on here, or if that is too difficult, write him a letter and that way you have time to think out what you want to write, and can go into depth, not just a one sentence "I'm breaking up with you". He may be hurt and sad but at least he can get some closure and hopefully understand. I wish you the best. Breakups are never easy for either party.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 November 2012):
I think you need to repeat to him the things you just wrote here.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (30 November 2012):
Hi there. First off, I am assuming that even though it has always been an LDR, that at some point you must have seen each other and gone out on a few occasions.
Would that be right?
Even better than a text message, would be to write him a sincere letter, to explain exactly how you have been feeling over the last few weeks.
And just talk to him in the letter, as you would do if you were with him, face to face.
And in the letter, tell him how you felt about him when you first met, and then how things have gradually changed, as your two lives have become very busy.
And say also, it seems now, that neither of you really has enough time to dedicate to each other the way you would like, anymore.
And so because of this, it seems like the only fair thing for you to do now, is to end it with him, to allow him to move on with his life.
And then thank him for all the good times, and the nice memories of your time together.
Then wish him all the very best in the future, and that he finds true happiness with special someone.
If I were in your situation, I would definitely be doing this.
At least then, he would know exactly where things stand, and it would only be him who reads that letter.
I am assuming of course, that you do have his address.
Hope it all goes well.
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A
female
reader, feralfox +, writes (30 November 2012):
Hi there,
Sorry to hear you're having problems in your relationship. LD is hard to sustain, so I understand completely. It also doesn't sound like you guys are great at communicating, which seems like the root of the problem.
If you're sure it's not going to work, I think your best option is to call him. And yeah, I know confrontation is scary especially when it comes to breaking up but that would be the right thing to do. A text is impersonal, it doesn't explain why you're breaking up in any great detail, emotional inflections are hard to pick up on, and to be honest you owe him an explanation . It's great that you know what you want, and you have every right to break up with him. However, you should really have a discussion with him on the phone. You say you only talk on the phone in public places, but I don't understand why you can't find some solitude to make this phone call... To me it sounds like you are avoiding confrontation. And I completely understand why! But still, I personally think a phone call would be the right way. A text is just to informal, and you guys have been together for a year! Plus, the phone call will give you some solid closure. Just my 2 cents.
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