A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,During my time off school I met a wonderful man who is now my boyfriend. He's a great guy, somewhat older and mature, and understands me better than anyone. Even though I moved to another state, we decided to remain together. We've been together for over a year now and we're very happy, even with the distance because we see each other about once every month or so. It's been hard being without him, but I've never been more focused in school and I've made a lot of friends who also distract me from missing him. One of my friends, we'll call her "Anna", has been there for me when it's been really hard. We study together, go to parties, and have stayed up all night talking on a few occasions. She also has a boyfriend, who she's been with for a long time. When were hanging out in a room (her boyfriend was there), and we were all talking and having fun. She sent me a text asking me if I wanted to hook up with her... I texted her back and said no, because we both have boyfriends and I knew it was wrong. But to be honest, it's been over a month since this happened and I can't stop thinking about her. We still hang out but not as much. It's obvious to me that she has some feelings for me, and I have feelings for her. Mostly I'm just curious, because I've never had a crush on a girl before this. When we're together I want to impress her and do things for her, like share my cigarettes and give her advice. I think she's really beautiful and there is something really sexy about her. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to have a secret relationship with her without either of our boyfriends knowing--something casual and short term but also special. Like a tryst. I'm just so confused because I'm attracted to her but I've never been with a girl before. I don't know what to do! I love my boyfriend and want to be with him, but I also want to explore my sexuality more too. But I STILL want to be with him... I just need to know if these feelings are real and valid. Would it be wrong for me to kiss her to see if I feel anything? I don't want to pursue a relationship with her and I get the impression that she doesn't either, but I think both of us are curious about our sexuality. Any advice is appreciated, thank you in advance! Also, to those of you who are Bi or Lesbian, could you maybe tell me how you knew? I am having a hard time determining if my feelings are real or just a passing fantasy. Thanks so much
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crush, has a boyfriend, lesbian, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): So for the sake of this 'attraction' you are willing to go against your principles of being Honest, Faithful for a tryst?
How about you keep doing what is right and drop her altogether? Get into the habit of REMAINING faithful, honest, trustworthy, reliable?
YOu think your Character and Integrity is worth acting on your lust for another?
How about you stop feeding the fantasies and stop building up your lust where it controls you so that you make the mistake of hurting Your BF, whom you claim to love.
Because if you ever found out your BF was thinking, doing, acting the same way that you are and was close to cheating on you- you would be devastated!
You are already commiting wrong by holding unto the fantasy and acting it out in your inner self.
Understand what the saying:As a Man Thinketh- So is He means?
If acting on your lust means more to you, the least you can do is be honest and break up with your Boyfriend and tell him you are bi curious and want to have sex with a woman that paid you attention.
A
male
reader, tykeavenger24  +, writes (1 December 2012):
i don't think its wrong as its normal for everyone to want to experiment but it would be if you did kiss her or anything else because it would class as cheating so i think you should talk to her and tell her that your curious but you should also talk to your boyfriend and see what he says as if he finds out about this from somewhere other than you you could lose him
hope i helped good luck
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