A
female
age
30-35,
*ricknessy101
writes:Im 16 years old im in 10 grade. I just found out i was pregnant for my boyfriend whos 17. I kno im to young to young to raise a child but it wasnt my fault. My boyfriend wanted a baby so i wanted to make him happy. Becuse he been so good to me so i gave him sum thing he always wanted i dont think im a fool for doing that cause he works and has a car so i think he would be a good father. But i dont kno how to brake the news to my mom. I need a way how to? And i want 2 know if what i did for my boyfriend is bad and if im a fool? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 The thing you have to remember, Tricknessy, is that regardless of how angry your mom gets, she can't change what is in your body at that moment; so my point is, if she starts going off about protection and stupidity, you can't change your past, what's done is done, those past actions have consequences that are in the present, so even if she yells at you for a bit, she will snap back to the present, because she can only control what she circumstances are before her today. you follow me? good luck.
A
female
reader, Runewyrm  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Ok you know you've made a mistake. A big one. So why are you on here asking how to tell your mum when you should be telling your mum and explaining what you've done. At 16 you are going to have a hell of a ride with a new born baby. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like a nice person to be honest if he persuaded you to have his child. W Its all good for him but he doesn't have to bring the baby up or carry it in his womb for 9 months. Go and tell you mum. She should have been the first person you told not strangers on a website. All i can say is Good Luck, because your going to need it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Well yeah you did do something extremely foolish, as you didn't want a baby yourself! Tell your mum straight away don't delay x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): Why are you asking for advice rather than talking with you mum? Because you know you have been incredibly foolish. Well harden up girl, because this is only the first of a lot of growing up you are going to do in the coming times, regardless of if you have an abortion or if you continue the pregnancy.
I can't tell you how selfish you and your boyfriend's plan has been. You're 16, if you don't finish schooling you will be living the life of trailer trash for the rest of your life. So if you keep the baby you're going to be relying on your mother to do a lot of the work of looking after the baby, just so you can get enough of an education to make a good attempt at a nice life. And this just as your mum was looking forward to a house without children needing her continual attentions.
That's without considering finances. Few 17yo boys bring home enough money for a family. That's why sensible young men don't start one. So you'll be sponging off your mother there too. She should be saving for her retirement, and its quite possible that by raising your child she will be impoverishing her elder years. Remember that when the time comes -- you will owe it to her when she needs to stay with someone who can look after her.
Now face up the music and go and talk with your mother. She wants what is best for you. I imagine that might begin with some well-deserved criticism of your behaviour. But the two of you need to put your heads together and come up with a plan.
[BTW, my $10 says your bf won't make it to the end of your pregnancy. Not that I'm suggesting that continuing with the pregnancy is very sensible. In fact, I'd really suggest an abortion and the pill, but that's for you to work through.]
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (3 December 2009):
You've made a foolish mistake, you and your boyfriend are too young to be having a baby. Stability is not something a 16 year old boy has, I know how men can be they are manipulative and try to talk you into almost anything. I am 29, and no man could ever talk me into having his baby. You need to go tell your mother and weigh your options, I really don't think this boy will stay with you, I think he was manipulating you so that he could have sex. I made the mistake of getting pregnant, and I chose to terminate it, and I learned a valuable lesson, get on birth control and use condoms.
Just remember its your body and no one else has a say what you do with it.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (3 December 2009):
I don't usually answer these kinds of questions because every mother is different and will react strongly but in different ways, so I don't know completely what the right answer is, but I would try to sit her down when things aren't too hectic one night, just belike, I need to talk to you, I have gotten myself into a really emotionally and physically horrible position, and I'm sorry I did this, I thought this is what I wanted , I thought this was somethign that was going to make my life better, and now I'm just confused and scared and I need you my mother as my rock and as support in my life. I think you should go in with ideas as to whether you feel like you want to keep the baby or not . I don't think you're a fool, i think you might have been insecure and overly wanted to make your bf happy and didn't really think about the full impact that this choice has on your future. and i think you were vulnerable, he was probably one of your first loves or boyfriends and i understand wanting him to like you and you wanting to please him, . if your mom is a good mother, she will blow off steam for a while but she will ultimately support you and try to help you get through one of the hardest times in your life, probably up to this point anyway.
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female
reader, cheerwhore23 +, writes (3 December 2009):
I'm honestly not trying to make u feel like crap but if ur boyfriend really loves u he would understand that u are too young to have a baby..no matter how amazing and cute it sounds its really stupid to have a baby that young ..I'm in 10th grade too and there's just no way raising a baby that young will be easy..or fun..my cousin had a baby her freshman year and she had to drop out of school because she couldn't survive off of just her boyfriends job..as for the mom thing....it really depends on how cool or strict she is.... Goodluck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): honestly what you did is foolish, youre 16 years old, not even done with high school yet and youre pregnant only to please your boyfriend, sound pretty foolish right? have you not seen that show 16 and pregnant? and all the struggles those girls go through...the only way i see things being ok for you is if youre wealthy. anyways you need to come clean to your mother, just do it the way juno did in the movie
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (3 December 2009):
 Babies stay with you for life, they will be there when your 20, 40, 60.. you never stop being a mum... Boyfriends and husbands on the other hand can come and go. Especially when they are young, and faced by responsiblity, financially and emotionally. A car (sigh) that dosen't make a guy a good father. You've been silly, unprotected sex, and now a pregnancy. The alternative to spending the next 19 years bringing up a child and missing your own childhood, is an abortion. Very messy in lots of ways.You must tell your mum as soon as possible. Buy a small cake, make coffee or tea, and tell her then, when your both alone in the kitchen, drinking cake and tea. She won't like it, no mum dose, but she needs to know, because you sound like you need help to make decisions properly. Your mum will help you decided what is best for you. There is also the option of adoption, or even putting the child into care untill your older and can cope.DON'T WAIT, TIME IS VERY IMPORTANT, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO WAIT.. TELL HER TOMORROW... good luck, in whatever you choose to do. Next time you decide to have sex, please, please, please make sure that you always use a condom, untill you actually plan to have a baby. Condoms protect against disease as well as pregnancy. Go talk to your mum, she'll be angry, but she'll understand and she will help you.
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