A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so this is how the story goes ......me and Stan have been friends since high school in India and now I am in America and he is in UK. So I have had a crush on him since high school and one day an apt situation came up for me to confess my love to him and I told him. As soon as I told him, he said - first of all, I have never seen you like that, and second lets just be friends. I said I understand what he is trying to say coz its not necessary every time you like a person, they have to like you back. So we stayed friends and we have become more close since the past couple of days and the weird part is , there are lots and lots of similarities between us and just one difference - he likes Family Guy, I don't ...lol !! Rest all are similar between us, like the type of cuisines we like, the type of music we like, the movies, the tv shows, you name it. We even have family members who behave somewhat same ( ya I know its weird....its kind of freaking me out too). So back to when I confessed my love for him, he asked me what are the qualities I look for in a lover and when I recited my list, he said his concept of a lover is the same but he cannot see me and him happening. And today while I was talking to him he said , I wish I get a girlfriend like you, who has the same tastes and me and understands me. ( I am confused, if thats the case , why can't he say yes to me, why does he wish for another gal like me ?) And then later he was like, first of all he's afraid of commitment, second , we live miles apart and third he has never seen me like that and fourth, he hasn't even thought about marriage yet. I told him I was not talking about marriage and he continued to say that me and him are not gonna happen, I should forget him. I am living with the hope that sometime in the future, god willingly we would end up as one, but he just keeps on crushing all those dreams with his talk. I am really sad thinking about this. Please help, what should I do, people asked me to forget him, but I can't. But from reading all this, do you think there is still a chance ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): Sorry you feel so strongly for someone that isnt returning your feelings but thats because he doesnt feel that way for you. Nor does he have to. Try and find someone that wants to be with you, rather than chase someone who clearly doesnt. If not, you will drive him away and lose his friendship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): The guy did not speak in code, he told you what he felt and how he saw things between you, re-read your post especially about the part that it ain't never gonna happen between you.
The kid lives in another country. You are too young to be pining away for this guy.
A good relationship is not based on similarities in taste, but a true friendship that takes care of each others needs, similar values and goals in life.
Plus timing and logistics play a huge role.
Enjoy the fact that you have had a crush, but appreciate that is all it will ever be and get on with your own life.
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