A
female
age
30-35,
*ordynHill
writes:My bf and I have known each other since high school, he have been dating for 10 months. We have talked about marriage a lot and have started looking at houses together. Three weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. I was using bc but recently switched from the methods and my doctor said that's probably why we ended up getting pregnant. Although it wasn't planned we are excited. It really meant a lot to the both of us to be married before the baby was born so Thursday we went to the court house and got married. We didn't tell anyone until the night before about the wedding. My family was angry , they thought we were rushing things and didn't like the idea of a court house wedding. My brother was the only one from my family to come and his parents and a few friends were there. I was a little hurt that my parents and rest of my siblings there. We still haven't told them that we are expecting a baby. The negative comments about GE wedding were enough. How do I get them to accept our marriage and be happy for their first grandchild
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2017): Congratulations...There is nothing wrong with getting married at the courthouse.That is how I did it 35 years ago.That is how my daughter did it 2 years ago.If you talk to your mom and dad just tell them.If you do not send them a letter or card telling them.Babies have away of bringing out the best in people.If they still do not come around after that I am sorry.In that case just focus on your husband and baby and those who do come around and support you.Give it time.... sometimes that is also the best way.They were maybe in shock that you got married so fast.They may think you were too young to get married but I was only 18 and we are still strong.Have fun with your baby...they grow so fast.I think it all will work out in the long run..do not stress or worry.like I said babies have a way of bringing out the best.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (1 August 2017):
 You're young and somewhat irresponsible - changing BC methods means no sex until it's fully kicked in. You were also inconsiderate to marry without giving them time to get adjusted to the idea and you're now upset with them for not being over the moon that you had a quick marriage to a fairly new boyfriend.
OP, tell them you're pregnant, don't wait until it shows. Act maturely and take the consequences. Then start preparing for the baby. Have a fallback plan in case your new relationship doesn't last.
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A
male
reader, Riot2017  +, writes (31 July 2017):
Parents can sometimes be toxic, and do tantrums when that kind of things happen.
I suggest that you go ahead and marry wherever and whenever you want, with or without any parents.
I'm actually planning on doing the same thing, not because my GF is pregnant, but because we both have toxic parents.
Yes, they will never forgive you, but one day they will understand your reasons and will end up loving your baby.
A baby can sometimes win the grandparent's hearts .
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A
female
reader, JordynHill +, writes (31 July 2017):
JordynHill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBoth my husband and I have full time jobs, I work as an office administrator at a local elementary school and my husband is working towards his blocks for an electrician.
He has an apartment and I recently moved in with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2017): Getting married was a decisive step on your parts and is your way of welcoming your newborn into the world with a mummy and daddy who both love him!
I dont quite understand where you are living but if you stick to your guns and stay determined to make your married life work then help will arrive.
Stay strong and dont get rerouted! Some people can be sour but your folks will get the hang of becoming grandparents soon enough!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BEGINNING.x
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (31 July 2017):
 You didn't go about this the right way. You should have told then about the pregnancy first. Of course they're pissed, they have every reason to be! They have no clue what's going on and you suddenly spring "I'm getting married on Thursday. Be there or be square" on them!
They'll be happy for the grandchild but that should be the least of your concerns now. How do you plan to support the baby? I hope you're prepared for what's coming up
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 July 2017):
 As your brother is the member of your family who seems to be most supportive of you, perhaps you could tell him first and ask him for his advice on telling the rest of the family?
In your shoes, I would say something along the lines of "We realize you are not pleased about our marriage but the reason we rushed things was because we are expecting a baby and wanted to do the responsible thing. We hope you will be happy for us and we would so appreciate your support at this time."
I am sure they must have at least a slight inkling that a pregnancy may be on the cards.
Further down the line, I am sure the shock of your wedding will pale into insignificance and will only be remembered in passing.
Good luck. I hope it all works out for you all.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2017): You're responsible people, adults, and you're married. So what's the big deal about telling your parents you're pregnant? Their reaction to the news will not undo the facts.
Once you become adults, you make your own decisions and you can't worry about your parent's opinions; unless you're doing something illegal or life-threatening.
You cannot control how people feel about your choices or decisions; they have to come around and accept things they have no power to change.
I think you're over-thinking things; because they have strongly advised against rushing into marriage. You're very young for marriage or starting a family. They are only worried; because of your youth and inexperience. If you have a degree, you can't have very much work experience being fresh out of college. You're both under 25. If neither of you have a degree, I can see where they may be concerned about your financial security. Immediately starting a family means someone has to stay home for childcare. So you'll be down one income right from the start.
They are correct that it may have been better to wait. I find your explanation for how you got pregnant a little sketchy.
What kind of method of birth-control did you use that would allow you to get pregnant? I can guess, but won't elaborate.
What's done is done. If you were so concerned about your parent's opinions, why didn't you listen to them?
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