A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a gay 24 year old male and my best friend and i went for a sexual health test the other week and got our results yesterday ... It turns out that i was all clear but my best friend has been told he is HIV + ... As you could imagine this was a huge shock for both of us ... He seems ok but i've taken it very badly as i lost a best friend a couple of years ago to aids. and the thought of loosing my best friend to the same thing kills me!I've told him i'll be there for him no matter what he is my best friend and i will support him through anything! i just don't know what to say to him when i look at him, i almost feel selfish that i was given the all clear and he wasn't! how do i be there for him and take his mind of it ... what do i say to him? i love him with all my heart and he knows this! i want to be there for him the best possible way a friend can! any feedback would be great thanks for your timeM x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): HIV is not death sentence these day, people live full active lives for many many years to come, having proper nutrition and exercising. Of-course it's always a shock to find out about any possibly terminal desease, but it's even more difficult for that person to be treated somehow differently than any healthy person.
he probably wouldn't want to spend much time by himself, try to be sure that he is involved w/ as many activities and outings as possible. He might not even have any symptoms for another twenty years.
I understand you though how you feel, it will go away eventually, someday you'll even forget that your friend is sick, and life wil go on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): heita
i am soory about your friend,this is the difficult time both of you, just be there for your friend even if your dont have to say anything t him to cal him dawn, your presence and suppport will mean a lot. do as you promised, and also learn from them, and take care of yourself. and be patient with your friend right now, as he might just blow things out, due to stress.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 I'm sorry about your friend.
If you are his good friend make sure he sees a doctor and gets on the medications. Lots of HIV+ people live good and lives being HIV positive, it is not longer a "death sentence" though I'm sure it feels that way to him.
You might also try and find some support groups and go with him to meetings. Also maybe some counseling can be useful for him.
He might also want to join some of the groups that visits universities and schools taking about HIV and Aids - I know for some taking about it and hopefully preventing other young people to get it is a lot like therapy.
*hugs to your friend*
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Well I don't really feel that I am in the place to answer this question, having (thank God), not the faintest idea how awful this situation must be for everyone involved especially your best friend. I think you know what you need to do. You clearly really value this guy's friendship, and that is what he REALLY will need right now. Imagine how scared he is feeling, even if he seems ok. It probably hasn't sunk in yet, especially as it came as a shock. Losing people you love is absolutely awful, but knowing that you stuck by their side and loved them until the end/even after the end, means that you can know in your heart that you were the best friend to them that you possibly could have been. During horrible times in life, knowing that there are people around you who really love and care for you, is the only way to get through. As for feeling guilty that it was him and not you- please don't. No-one deserves to be told that they are HIV positive, not your friend OR you. Good luck and I'm so sorry for everyone involved in this. xx
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