A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend are young teenager's and have agreed not to have sex without protection or have it until 14.i think we may be takin things fast seeming as previous activities we have done. people think its sick how relationships turn out! but me and my boyfriends parents have no problem us being together. i just need the confidence to tell my parents what i have done so they understand! i sometimes feel i dont fit in with my family im outcasted im good at school and get shouted at so at school i feel i can relax but when im round my boyfriend things dont matter anymore thing's get lifted of my shoulder. since all of this has happened i have put on weight and not happy about it... thinking im fat i want to me a skinny girl with the accuracies when you walk into a room and boys notice people want to think wow i want to be like her.. but i can't seem to find the right websites to control myself...i know when im hungry i have to do situps and punch myself in the stomach to stop craving but how do i be like other girls???
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female
reader, CarrieMagdelene  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 Whoa, whoa whoa, sister! Back the truck up! I went down that road, sister, and it's not going to be something you want to do when you keep doing it! Take it from a former anorexic and bulimic...It's not worth it at all. All people ended up saying to me was 'you look like your stoned'. I got called a retard, a psycho, a twig, a beast, and several other names not appropriate. A teacher called me a crack whore! HUH!? I blacked out and couldn't remember wandering around my house talking to my parents. I'd binge, purge, and I'd pass out. My grades went from As and Bs to Ds and Fs in a matter of a month. I only lost 5 or 6 pounds, and my boyfriend kept telling me to stop because he knew first hand that it would kill me (one of his family members used to be bulimic). Girls looked at me in disgust. Not because they were jealous...But because I was UGLY. When you crash diet, you lose weight in places you don't want to first; you normally want to slim down the belly (not that I even HAD one to begin with), thighs, and flabby arms. What went? My boobs, my neck, my butt, and my calves. I looked awful and emaciated. People would say I was nuts for pointing out things like 'there's 200 calories per poptart, so-and-so.' or 'did you know there's trace calories in diet sodas that claim to have no calories?'
I was out of control, moody, a wack-job, and my boyfriend threatened me if I didn't stop. I stopped for him, but I also stopped for myself.
Today, I drink diet sodas. I do sit ups. I also eat six small meals a day, instead of three big ones, so I don't always feel like a whale after I eat. I went from 115, all the way down to 103 when I was anorexic (on a 5'3 frame), and now I'm about 109. I eat tons of fruit, jell-o, veggies (salads), and I cut out red meat. I'm a chicken fanatic! Yummy! I just watch what I eat a little, and I never feel hungry. I don't starve myself. I don't binge for a half-hour and then throw it all up. I was tired of nasty teeth, bad breath, and sore throats.
As for being well-liked, you can do that with a few super smiles and good manners. Say excuse me, thank you, and splash a genuine compliment here and there. If you like a girls hair, walk up to her and say 'I love your hair today!' instead of curling your lip and thinking 'its not all that great'. Compliment a guys shirt, his sports skills, or his grades. Being genuinely smiley and happy is a great way to be liked. :) You don't have to count calories to be well-liked. You just have to be a happy girl. Good luck! -Carrie
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): just be yourself, thats all you can be. why would you want to be something your not? if your yourself in the long run youll be a happier person and respected more for not being a fake.
wen i was a kid i was no muscle bound stud for sure, but i used to snack a lot and eat cheap easy meals.
dont abuse yourself, you need food badly at your age to develope into a healthy woman and starving yourself isnt clever. just watch what you eat and wen you eat. cut out sugars and fats and dont eat late befor bed.
as for waiting till 14 for sex, dont set limits. have it when your comfortable. just be safe and use a condom. but please consider waiting longer than 14.
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A
female
reader, AngelEyes420 +, writes (6 February 2007):
You allready sound like a smart young lady because you can make decisions with your bf to be sexually responsible. Now if you can just take that same strength and expand it into your whole life, you will be a lot further ahead than conformist types. Be careful though, you dont want to turn your bf into a total crutch. No one can swoop into your life and make all your problems go away. Only you can do that. And you owe it to yourself and the people who love you to know that. Also, if you & your bf were to not work out, you would be lost completely. try to be strong and independent and you will attract respect like gravity.
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A
female
reader, blackrose1988 +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Honey, people will respect you more if you be yourself, not if you try to be like the other girls. If you do that, you'll always be seen as a wannabe.
I know how you feel, though. When I was your age I felt under enormous pressure to conform, to be like the thin, popular, pretty girls at school. It's all part of growing up. I eventually realised that people would respect me far more if I was just myself, even if it was hard to begin with.
Your boyfriend sounds wonderful... you're very lucky to have him! He obviously doesn't seem to have a problem with the way you look - forget all the others, it isn't your problem that they don't accept you.
If you want to lose weight, do it safely. Don't starve yourself or hurt yourself. I reccomend cutting out snacks, eating fresh fruit and veg and also eating things with a high GI that fill you up and stop you getting hungry between meals.
xxx
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A
female
reader, cseame  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 obviously your life is very troubled right now and i can understand why your starting to hate yourself....before when you were sad...you fed yourself to get away that empty feeling in your stomach...and now this has happened....
why not just join club for exercise...i prefer you do something that relaxes you and takes you away from your life...
meditation to keep your mind clear
or yoga...
please don't abbuse your stomach...eat with a heathy diet...
but the most important thing for you right now is to stay calm and do the things you want...other peoples opinions don't matter..only yours
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