A
male
age
30-35,
*aulffx
writes:Hi,I recently fooled around with my friend's friend who I've just met.We got on really well and he seemed pretty comfortable the morning after.He mentioned giving me a call later in the week and then later that day sent me a text telling it was good to see me yesterday (which makes me think he was meant to text our mutual friend rather than me as I had been with him that morning).I'm just wondering how to go forward with this. He's 34 and bisexual and I'm gay and ten years younger.I like him and just want to avoid coming on too strong while not seeming that into it.I'm off to Amsterdam in a few days and was wondering whether it was worth waiting until after that to text him or send it before if I haven't heard from him once past the midweek point?
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male
reader, paulffx +, writes (3 August 2016):
paulffx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I think I may send a message in a couple of days. Hopefully he'll speak to me before then.
Thanks again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2016): I think had you held-out on sex a little longer, it might have kept his interest and curiosity more active. Once gay men get sex, there's little wonder or surprise left. So it's really important to establish an emotional-connection or determine if there is a potential for real chemistry. Sex too soon puts you on the same level as all those who came before you. You have to seem unique in some way. I'm gay, and this advice comes from experience.
Instead of texting, call a couple of times out of the blue. Make conversation when you can, to get into his head and find out what he likes to do for entertainment. Let talk lead you to what his favorite physical activities are beyond sex. You hold a guy's attention longer when you know something about him, his likes and dislikes; and share some of his interests to make sure things are exciting enough to have fun being in each others company. Messaging gives him an excuse to keep his distance. Minimize too much chatter, or messaging. Just play it cool and sexy.
It isn't coming on too strong to let a guy know you're interested. If you hit it off from the start, you don't have to come on strong; just give him a good reason to want to see you again and spend his time with you. Of course, sex is s great reward; but it shouldn't be the main objective.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (2 August 2016):
 Yeah I'd give it a few days then ask if he would like to hang out. The only way you could come on too strong would be persistent messaging without knowing if he has an interest in you.
Ask him out and take it from there.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, paulffx +, writes (2 August 2016):
paulffx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I think I may send a message in a couple of days. Hopefully he'll speak to me before then.
Thanks again.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 August 2016):
I would text him before you go away. I think in these kinds of situations it is best to be completely honest. Tell him you enjoyed your time together and ask him if he would like to meet again. Then you can forget about it and move on unless you receive a reply.
I wish you all the very best.
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