A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I have asked for a lot of help over the last few months. I was the one who dated a man, who was very obese, and broke up because of is ED problem. We got along well during our dating except for that. He didn't mention love, but told me that I meant the world to him. He also mentioned combining families down the road. He had only been divorced 1 year at the time and for me it has been 10. Since our breakup five months ago it has been sort of a yo-yo effect. He made me jealous and I fell for it. We both dated others but, still end up having lunch every so often. He even set me up so I was the only one (with one of my kids) to go to the cider mill. I had a hard time getting over things for many reasons. His mixed signals to begin with and that he didn't give us a chance to work things out. I know we both were in marriages that there was a lack of communication. I in my first marriage and he is his second. Also it is not good for one ego to be dumped by someone who is almost 400 lbs. Yes, he is huge, but still ended up falling for him. I did find attempting sex to be akward to say the least (had never dated a man that size before). I did over look it because once I was with him a few minutes it was easy to forget how big he was. I think a lot of it had to do with how he made me feel. I also miss someone to share my life with. We still get together and email each other and still are a part of each others lives (due to my child's hobby). I have friends to share things with but, it is not the same. It had been my first experience in dating since my divorce. I am not a big person. I am 5'2" and a size six. I have been told that I am attractive and am smart and funny. I haven't had a coffee date for over two months and getting the feeling as if there is something wrong with me. I even bought a book on how to act around men. My question is what attracts men. I plan on getting myself out there to meet new people, but want to project qualities that would attract men. The main problem I have is that I seem to attract men that are either not my type or unavailable. How can I attract a man that without seeming full of myself is worthy of me and is ready for a relationship? Are there men out there that are good communicators and would talk instead of running away from their problems? I want to find someone to share my life with. I need feedback from you men in your forties. Please I need your help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MsFrankie  +, writes (22 November 2009):
 The constant stream of questions suggests that you are pretty paranoid. Have you tried being yourself? Your desperation is probably scaring people off. Men of all ages like confident women who refuse to change their personalities simply to seem attractive. Seems like you need to focus on getting to know yourself for a bit.
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