A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My guy and I want to start having sex. He is a little older than me, so we're waiting two months until I turn 18, just to be safe with the law. I am a virgin; he has had a number of partners in the past. What is the best way to ask him to get tested for STDs? I don't want him to think that I'm accusing him of having an STD, I just want to be sure he's clean before we start fooling around, for my peace of mind. He knows very well that he's going to be my first, so there would be no point in me getting tested too. What do you think would be the best way for me to go about asking him to do this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): If you can't comfortably ask him about this, then you're not ready to have sex with him yet.
A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Let him know that you're worried about catching STDs/STIs and ask him to get tested so that you can be sure that you'll be safe. A critical thing to mention, would be that you're not saying he's unsafe or anything like that, but that you just want to be absolutely sure because it's your first time and you don't want to have to worry about STDs on top of everything else.
If he doesn't understand, then you should rethink having sex with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): It's all about open and honest communication and if he has any problems with it then he's obviously not the guy you want to share this moment with. Most guys may feel a little awkward about it, since they aren't usually talking to their doctor about their sex lives, not as much as women who have a yearly exam have to do. I am in the exact same place as you, a virgin and my boyfriend has slept with a few other girls, I also asked him to get tested. He said he always used condoms and was safe and I didn't make the conversation confrontational or anything I just told him that it would make me feel better and I'd be able to enjoy the moment more if he got tested. I also told him that most STD's don't show any symptoms for men so he could of had one and not known and that people can still pass STD's from oral sex. How many people actually use condoms when giving a guy a blowjob....probably not many. So even if they use condoms when having intercourse they can still contract STD's this way.
I hope this all helps and I'm sure he is clean, this will just put your mind at ease like you said, tell him that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010): I asked my boyfriend to get tested. If he really wants sex with you then he will do it :)
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A
male
reader, late20sDude +, writes (3 July 2010):
I'm a guy, and I've gotten tested before when starting a relationship. I can't remember if she asked me, I think it was more of me wanting to prove to her I was safe. With that said, I agree with the other poster in that he will understand. If he doesn't understand or agree to get tested then it would seem fishy. So I would just ask, don't worry, he'll do it. I hate getting pricked with needles but I did it because I know it's important.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (3 July 2010):
 This is too important NOT to ask him to get tested.
Just say that while you're sure he probably is healthy, it would be a good idea to get tested just so as to be absolutely certain - and ask him if it would be alright if he shows you the doctor's report.
Any guy worth his salt will understand, and respect you for wanting to take care of your own health - and his. Then when you do start being sexually active with him, please be sure you use reliable birth methods such as the pill, and probably condoms as well. Last thing you want is to get pregnant.......good luck!
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