A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so...I recently started a "friends with benefits" relationship with a suuuuuper sexy guy. Atleast I think we are friends with benefits. When we first met we both agreed that no one was interested in a relationship and we would just be friends. Well...After hanging out for a while we finally were alone together and...we ended up having sex! And let me tell you it was...amazing! I loooove having sex with this guy lol. Its probably the best sex i've ever had. This is something that I never really wanted to happen because he's a cool guy and I just wasn't interested in having sex with him but...boy am i glad i did!Here is my dilemna...I think he likes me. I mean not like he wants to marry me or anything, but i do think he genuinely likes spending time with me and this isn't one of those...I'll pretend to like her so she'll sleep with me kind of things.MY problem is...he's great he's nice but...all I really want is a sexual relationship. I dont wanna hang out and get to know each other. Why? Simply because I don't want to develop feelings for him down the line.Anywho...its been a week since our last hook-up. This was the second hook-up. I ended up staying all night and I'm afraid I might have over-stayed my welcome without even realizing what I was doing. (Got lost in the sex lol) Since its only been a week...is it too soon to call again? Also...how does a woman go about setting up a "hook-up session"? I don't want to just come out and say "will you have sex with me again" because I dont want him to feel used but at the same time...i dont want him to be confused as to why I want to come to his house. Also...will it be too forward of me to contact him for sex? Should I wait for him to come to me?? He has always came to me in the past but it normally takes him like two or three weeks. I can't wait that long lolPlease help?ps- If all your gonna say is...women can't do sex without intimacy, dont degrade yourself, blah blah blah save it! All I'm asking is how do i approach this fellow about becoming STRICTLY fwb and how do i do it tactfully?
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female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (20 June 2012):
OP HERE!
I didnt spend the night. I stayed until around 11:30. In the past when we hung out I always left early like around 630 or 830 at the latest.
But yes you are right So Very Confused. We do like each other as friends already and I would want to be his friend even if sex wasn't involved. He's a cool guy. Perfect for a fwb relationship.
I didnt give background on him but he seems like the type of guy who has multiple women/female friends around him. This is why I can't date him. But I honestly don't care what he does with his time when I'm not there. We have fun, we practice safe sex...
Anywho I actually came out today and just asked him bluntly what we are. He said we are fwb and he loves our sex so...I feel more comfortable approaching him about things
Thank You everyone for your advice!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 June 2012):
 Call him about 10 pm one night say "whatcha doing? want some company?" see what he says.
and then when you go over you can discuss with him that you like him enough to sleep with him but you don't want the complications of a relationship.
you make it sound like FWB don't like each other... isn't the whole point to be FRIENDS? don't friends have to like each other?
I caution you that I started out as NSA/FWB with my fiance. And while I was the first to ADMIT I developed feelings for him, the truth was that I think it was in direct reaction to how he was starting to feel about me...
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (19 June 2012):
 I am not going to tell you that women can't do sex without intimacy, but you yourself said you spent the night. Why? If it's only about the sex, then I think you would have the sex and go home. After all, you don't like the guy for any other reason, so why lead him on? The fact is a lot of PEOPLE cannot have sex without intimacy. It's an intimate act. People develop feelings even when they agreed they wouldn't. With that being said, I would simply tell him what you've told us...you want him for sex only, you do not want to hang out, and you do not want to get to know him. He might like the idea or he might think it's superficial. That is the chance you take.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): As a guy, I have to say that falling in love can be easy. If you think he kinda likes you, then maybe you should give him a chance. You already know that he's great in bed, so why don't you take it easy a little? If you try to force him into sex and he doesn't want to, you might scare him off.
If none of the above concerns you, or it's just doesn't help, try calling him up and asking if you guys could meet. Just take it slow and once you guys are alone in a place like a hotel room or something, take the initiative. If you see that he's not exactly willing, try something that would make most guys want to have sex. Don't go too far though, because he might just run out. Try touching him in a sexual way. Hopefully, he'll come around.
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