A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everybody. my problem is i met a man in march he lives 2 mins away from me he asked me out i said yes he came round mine after a couple of weeks we had sex we carried on like this for 7 weeks i went out for a night out with my friends first time in the 7 weeks i had known him and he accused me of cheating on him which i hadnt. then each time i text him he would not reply or when he did it was one word answers so i asked him what i had done wrong he said he only wanted me for sex but he didnt act like that when we met. we hadnt been seen together or went out anywhere not once so i told him no i deserved better than that and he agreed so that was that now he shouted me today and said that he had been wanting to text me but didnt have my number anymore so he came round we had sex again and watched a movie but i don,t know if he see,s us as a couple or not and i don.t want to ask him cos i don.t want him to think im being to seriou so quick but i have feelings for him and i just don,t know what he is thinking about me he agreed last time i deserved better so i do not know this time around what is happening between us i am 24 and he is 37 he says the age diffrence doesn't bother him he has been hurt before but so have i and i would not hurt him i just don,t know what to do any suggestions would be very helpfull thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your answers he does seem interested in me but i cannot understand why i dont see him that often and he lives 2 mins away he has told me he is very insecure and has been hurt in the past i just cannot make him see that i would not hurt him he is in touch by text or call everyday about 5 or 6 texts off him a day
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2011):
 He only wanted you for sex and he admitted that , so , no mystery, But, you'll say, then I told him that I deserve better, so he knows and if he comes around and we have sex that means he is going to be " better " from now on, right ?Wrong. He did not say anything, accept anything,commit to anything. If you are so pliable that you give him sex-on-tap no questions asked, that's not his problem and he surely won't complain. You deserve better so SHOW him you deservebetter- by not letting him use you for casual sex anymore.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (25 June 2011):
Until you have a conversation where you agree you are a couple, and that he tells you and shows by his actions that he is genuinely interested outside of your sexual relationship, you can assume that he is only interested in you for the sex. He might like you too, but he isn't prepared to offer anything more or take anything more than sex. You don't need to know what he wants, or what he is capable of giving. All you need to know is what you want. If you want to see him for sex, you can continue. If you want more, you have to make the decisions to ensure that you create a relationship with more, don't leave that to him. This means speaking to him about it, spending time together without having sex to get to know each other, and being prepared to dump him if he can't give you what you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011): You are getting used.
He has a problem, ? what it is?
Aunty BimBim is probably right.
Only date this guy if you are willing to go to couples counseling from the get go. He's got a lot of issues.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (25 June 2011):
"he said he only wanted me for sex" Self explanatory...
"said that he had been wanting to text me but didnt have my number anymore"....very convienient...
"so he came round we had sex again" What a surprise..
Basically I think this guy is purely using you for sex. When he'd had enough last time he made up the whole cheating thing so he could leave while blaming it on you. Now he's had sex with you again without clarifying anything and he probably hopes to keep it that way and continue just having casual sex with no strings attached. I agree that he's manipulating you, the reason he didn't take you out anywhere last time was because he only wanted sex and wasn't bothered about making you happy in the 'relationship' or putting in anymore effort than was needed to get what he wanted. This is a classic sign of a player and user.
Either that or he's exremely emotionally insecure, imagine how he'll actually be in a long term relationship if he accused you of cheating for just going out with friends after 7 weeks. Probably very controlling.
I'd get out now if I were you, I can only see this man wasting your time and bringing you heartbreak.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 June 2011):
 He is the one that accused you of cheating after only 7 weeks and you are worried he might think you are being too serious too quick?
He has said he only wants you for sex, I think this man is very clever at manipulating you, step back and take a good look at this situation, its not healthy, step back turn and run while you still can.
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