A
male
age
41-50,
*nknownguy313
writes:Hello Dear Cupid,I don't know if this is the right place for this but I really need to write this as I really don't know what else to do? So I've read a few stories on here and this may sound like the usual broken heart, but I feel my story is a little different....So like any guy I've had a few relationships. Good and bad like anyone else....Then a year ago I met the most incredible woman I have ever met. From the beginning it was love. I've never ever felt this kind of love before in my life. The first 4 months was the most amazing 4 months of my life. Then out of nowhere I started to get these insecurities. I've never had them before. We argued and I started making silly, stupid accusations and for another 2 months we tried to make our relationship work. But then she finally had enough. She broke it off. I said some terrible things like saying I hated her and I wish I never met her. It wasn't true though! I was just trying to hurt her the way I thought she was hurting me. I thought I was the only one hurting, but I know now she was too.... I know that now. So we've been finished for 6 months and the pain and hurt I feel is the same as like she only broke up with me 5 mins ago. I mean I get sentimental over a set of traffic lights for god's sake! I avoid places that we went together. I don't watch certain things on TV. I know it sounds ridiculous! I can't get her out of my heart, or my head. I've tried everything. I've tried to get on with my life, but I've lost my job, my home. I'm a shell of the man I once was. I've tried talking to her to tell her how sorry I am and how much I love her but she just doesn't want to know. I realise that she will never take me back. But I know I will never get over this. Something inside me has changed. I can feel it. I know I'll never be the guy I once was. What I'm asking I guess is to anyone out there who has been in a similar situation how do you deal with knowing you can't be with your 'one true love'. I'm resigned to the fact she just doesn't want to know. 99% of me knows it will never be but there's that 1% of me that lives in hope. If there is anyone out there who isn't with the love of their life? How do you deal with it on a daily basis? Please? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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male
reader, Unknownguy313 +, writes (2 June 2013):
Unknownguy313 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to anonymous female writer. Your advice really touched me.
A
male
reader, Unknownguy313 +, writes (2 June 2013):
Unknownguy313 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers. She truly does not want to be with me. I may think she was 'the one' for me, but unfortunately she does not share those feelings. I've never wanted someone so much or wanted them to feel the same way as I do about them, but she doesn't. I'm pretty sure she's 'moved on' too! I miss her so much to the point where sometimes the pain is just so intense. But I'm waffling now. Sorry. I may write that letter to try and show to her how sorry I really am and that I'm trying to change to be that better person. Thank you again to everyone.
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A
male
reader, tochiro343  +, writes (1 June 2013):
 The only thing I know of that will ease your pain is time or if someone comes along when you least expect it and steals your heart.Sometimes when we are staring at the window that has closed behind us we dont see the door That is wide open infront of us.I am living in the same boat as you I completely understand your pain.
One little quote I read may help. Never lose yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn,t care about loseing you. Some people can remain in your heart but not your life but sometimes miracles can happen. Hang in there.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): Hi! I answered a similar question earlier, here's the link: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-made-a-mistake-and-i-want-her.htmlThe advice I gave I think is very transferable to your situation- to sum it up you need to get all feelings out in the open and make her realise you're determined to understand everything- if she still knocks you back you will have this closure - and this is how you move on. I know it's 6 months and everything you've described is normal- you still have strong feelings and maybe haven't exerted every fibre in effort to get her back. Maybe some will disagree but I think you should try one last time-Why is it not normal to not want to see things that associate us with that person? everyone feels it and it is unbearable. Worse case scenario happens get some closure (see my link above) and remember things change, nobody's perfect and she probably isn't the right person for you. Moving on long and painful process, but with complete closure it'll come, mind over matter :) or even heart over matter... :) good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): I am going through the same situation, I can't be with the love of my life. Exactly like you I had few good and few bad relationships but I never felt the same about other guys, the way I felt about this person who unfortunately I can't be with. This situation is terrible, awful and absolutely unfair. Acceptance is not easy either. Me personally I take one day at a time and I cherish every single wonderful moment we had together. The only thing that can't be taken from you is your love for her, the love that you keep in your heart. I am a strong believer that if anything is meant to be it will be and who knows maybe the short time you both had together is the only time you could have. Try to keep yourself busy. Find a job, go out and socialize but if you would like, you could send her an email or write her a letter just to let her know how you feel about her and how much you miss her . This should be alright and leave at that!! Move on with your life. I am not saying forget her because you won't but life must go on. I hope this helps. All the best for you.
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A
female
reader, alien invasion +, writes (1 June 2013):
 hey there,
i feel like i'm going through a somewhat similar situation and i'm just as confused as you are. i feel like i'm never going to give up hope on him and i. but what i think i'm slowly realizing is that you need to make yourself happy. that's the most important thing in life. you can't depend on others to make you happy, the only person you can ever truly really depend on is yourself in the end of all things.
live your life and do good things for yourself. get out of town and remember what you can do for you that really means something. maybe in time you will be with her again but FIRST you have to find happiness within yourself. i believe in love and i believe anything is possible. i hope things work out for you as i hope things will work out for me.
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