A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note: 2 questions from the same OP merged into one post]I was in a Relationship with a guy for 1.5 years. We lived together. He always told me I was the woman of his dreams and we were already talking about marriage.One day we went out for drinks, he got really drunk. When we got home, we started an argument which ended with me in the hospital. This wasn't the first time it had happened, but it sure was the last one.After I broke up with him, we were still seeing each other for about 2 months, even though we weren't living together anymore.I went out of town for school, he promised me he was going to work on himself so we could be together again. Three weeks after I left, he was in a relationship with someone else. We haven't spoken in 7 months and he's still with her. Some mutual friends tell me they are very happy together.The questions are:1. Is his new relationship considered a rebound? Is it going to last?2. Why did he forget about me so quickly?3. Has he change? or is he going to do the same with her? (Question 2) Following on from this.......While I was out of town, his best friend and I became really close. He was the one who took care of me after my boyfriend beat me. Without knowing, the friend started to have feelings for me. Meanwhile my ex had a new girlfriend.When I came back in town after 2 months, he declared himself to me. He had been telling everyone about his feelings for me. When I turned him down, he became really angry and told everyone we had slept together, including my ex boyfriend. My exboyfriend texted me and told me he didn't feel bad for what he had done to me. I replied "ok" back. I got defensive because of the way he approached it. I felt like he could've ask me, before judging.A month after that, I saw one of my ex's friend. They have know each other for a while, but they are not that close. We started hanging out and we have been slept together for a while now (we are friends with benefits), I'm not sure if my ex knows about it.I got to confess I still have feelings for my ex, and I have thought of getting back together. But I'm afraid that because of the rumors, he wants nothing to do with me.He's still with his girlfriend whom I believe is his rebound, they have been together for 7 months now.Is there any chance he misses me? Any chance we can get back together some day? How did he forget about me so fast?I was great with him, never did anything to hurt him while we were together. I just don't get how he managed to move on so fast!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 January 2011):
The fact is, this man put you in hospital. He never loved you in the first place, that's why he treated you like he did.
1 - This might or might not be a rebound. To be honest, I don't think he gave a damn in the first place, and I don't think he gives a damn now. I think he's only interested in himself.
2 - He forgot about you because he never loved you in the first place.
3 - He will never change, and he will ultimately do the same thing to her.
You've got to stop allowing yourself to be a victim. The man will continue to beat you, and this is now your chance to get away. The reason he moved on is because he didn't care at all in the first place. He just beat you. There was no love at all.
The time has come to accept that this man doesn't give a damn. He never did, never will. So the real question you need to ask yourself is why you're so willing to allow yourself to be treated this badly? Why is it that you are accepting this treatment?
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