How could someone do in seconds what I've been trying to do for ages!??

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage

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Question - (15 October 2008)

8 Answers - (Newest, 16 October 2008)

A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid,

I am a 17 year old male who has a serious problem affecting me. I have liked a girl for 5 years now, and slowly been trying to get her to be mine. Throughout the years it has been very dramatic and has gone up and down like a roller coaster. I like her, she has liked me and gone off me and everything. Recently a person out of nowhere comes along and attracts her so easily. They were about to go out but he was impatient with her deciding and left her. She was heartbroken for a while and I just watched; heartbroken and amazed.

How could someone do what, I have tried to do for ages, so easily? I talk to her friends a lot and talk to her as well. Her friends tell me that she does not fancy me, which I figured, but she will always see me as a friend. Every night for 4 years now I have gone home just to cry alone in my room. I used to cut myself ages ago but I found that to be stupid. I actually try to stay at school to escape home because I cant take it. The reason she went off me was just random for some reason, I do not quite understand why... but that is how it is. Anyway this is wrecking my life, and my mind. I have constant headaches and I realise I may be going mental. I worry about my mental health and my emotional health too. I have tried talking to my friends about it but they do not help and do not want to get involved. I am not being offending but writing on here was my last resort because I am one step behind going insane. I have heard all the information before about moving on and forgetting everything but I just cannot. I have tried before and it does not work, what does anybody suggest?

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A male reader, Everoth +, writes (16 October 2008):

........i have had your problem. I liked a girl for 5 years and I tried so hard to get her to slowly like me and she went out with diff. guys over the years but I was always there after each one. I never understood how she didn't like me, I was always there and helpful yet some random guy would walk up to her and there would seem to be some instant attraction, something that I couldn't seem to achieve. It really killed me on the inside thinking about it, everyday when I got home and especially late at night, I would toss and turn, and she would be all I could think about. After the first few years, I was afraid I was going to go crazy with just stressing and thinking about her. Never could let her go for 5 years (I'm seventeen too by the way). I finally got over her two months ago. All the advice people give about letting go.....is true to an extent. It isn't that the advice doesn't work, you just don't want it to work. You don't want to let her go. Perhaps you're like me and you can't bear the thought of letting this girl go after all this effort, all this time, all this pain. Either way, you just have to let her go bro. Nothing is your fault, sometimes people just don't fall other people and that is just life. Let her go and start talking to other girls, see who else is out there because I promise you there are amazing women all around you even at the high school level if you will just look around. The best way to fall out of love is to fall back in it. Good luck man, don't let this one event get you down.