A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girl have been going out for about 1 months or so. A few weeks after our first year anniversary she confessed to me that she had cheated on me with this guy from her school. She also told me that she had only been with him for a few days and it never went further than a kiss. She told me that she was sorry and i, believing that she could be trusted, forgave her and we continued in our relationship. She also told me that even though she sees the other guy in school she never talks to him except for a hie and bye. A few months ago i found out from her that they indeed have been talking shortly after she told me that she had cheated on me and they have become good friends and only friends. She said she told me so before but i highly doubt it because your girlfriend telling you that she's good friends with the guy she cheated on you with is not something i would forget. I expressed how i wasn't too keen on their relationship but she again assured me that their only friends. Then later she told me that he requested her a friend on her myspace account a week after it happened. I wasn't angry for the fact that he requested her i was, however, not happy that she hid that from me and i asked her to reject his offer because it would only lead to them getting closer and i wasn't comfortable with that. She didn't listen and added him saying that " i have no right telling her who her friends should be." Then afterward i went to his page to check out the dude and guess whose comments i see saying that his "sexy ass hell" or "dammmmmmmm". Yet till this day she still claims that she in love with me. And to top it off she now spends more time on myspace than she calls me. I love this girl but recently i just don't see her sharing the same thing. Am i being paranoid and its nothing i should worry about or should i just cut my loses and leave her. How could i tell her how i feel without sounding like a total wuss.
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male
reader, Male Gigalo +, writes (22 October 2009):
I would just cut my losses and dump her man. I was in a relationship with a girl with a similar situation to yours, except they didnt have myspace yet. There is nothing worse than tellin your girl who to hang out with, even though I made that mistake. After a year of that bs, all I got to show for it was a broken heart and maxed credit cards.Don't need to confront the guy trying to get with your girl. After all we are all just trying to find someone to be with or for some people, find someone to sleep with. It's not his fault that your girl leading him on or showing interest. The fact that she doesn't respect you or your guys relationship, shows that she isn't ready for something serious.What I found that worked out for me, just go with the flow. Hooked up with girls but never got attached. If it turns into something serious then its cool, if not, then maybe you got some out of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the advice they are much appreciated
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the advice they are much appreciated
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Hi Hun,
rcn is right, dont stay around waiting for change make it happen LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 October 2007):
 She has absolutely NO respect for you or your feelings. I've spoken with counselors before about cheating and what they recommend to heal a damaged relationship. They all say the same thing (1) The person who cheated needs to cut all ties to the person they cheated with.
This girl really isn't playing in a good arena. She cheats on you with someone then leaves sex based or flirting comments on his Myspace?
It'd cut my losses. I feel there is more to this, but I'm not going to jump the gun to make that assumption.
I would simply tell her. I saw these comments, you cheated with him, your behavior is disrespectful to me and the relationship we're in. Until you learn how to respect, I have to go my separate way.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 October 2007):
Your girl is unfaithful. Dump her and find a more loyal girl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): I think that if you were going to cut your losses, you should have done it when she first told you she cheated on you. The whole myspace thing.. a lot of people get addicted to it very easily and the fact that shes on that more than she talks to you on the phone has nothing to do with her cheating on you. It's possible that it does, but it probably doesn't. Friend requests and comments don't mean much either considering the fact that on my mspace, I'm friends with Bam, Flave, and other people who aren't actually friends with me in real life. Myspace is almost its own seperate world within a real world. It doesnt mean much and you should tell her your not comfortable with her talking to him as much as she does or at least tell her that the comments he left you bothered you. Or you can kick his ass for what he did.
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A
male
reader, thewiseman +, writes (14 October 2007):
 well. to answer your paranoid question. you sound like you are a little too clingy to this girl. And you dont really trust her that much. You have to give her credit that she came forward and told you that she cheated on you, that is a very difficult thing to do. especially when you have a established relationship. But I also share your concerns about this guy she was with. the "sexy azz" and "damnnn" comments on myspace are in my opinion clear signs that this man wants to be her BF instead of you.But im not surprised that your girlfriend has told him to back off yet. so if you know who this guy is I would recommend to sit him down and speak sternly but not harshly to him that she is your GF and you two have a bond already and he is not allowed to interfere with that bond. But also let him know it is okay to be her friend, because if you dont he will think you want him to stay away and he might tell your girlfriend and you might have a minor problem. As for the GF spending less time with you. Take her somewhere that she likes to go and spend time there. Or stay on myspace more often and chat there. if you have any other questions let me know. I hope this helps and you get your relationship back on track.
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