A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi 6 years ago I met the man of my dreams I was madly in love with him and things were going well after a year of been together I fell pregnant and miscarried the baby the next day my boyfriend kicked me out of his flat no explanation as to why he kicked me out I had to get a taxi with all my belongings even tho he drove I was so hurt I see him about all the time he always stares at me I he keeps asking my friends how I am and he keeps saying to them he’s tried talking to me a couple of times but I won’t speak to him why would he want to talk to me after all these years now I know it’s not important now I’m just curious as to how someone could treat someone so bad then expect to talk to them like everything’s normal thank you for any answers Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (2 December 2018):
 What a horrible person he is. You have made the right decision to not have anything further to do with him, your "friends" on the other hand, tell them you don't care what he says about anything and you would appreciate it if they didn't repeat his inane ramblings to you.
If they don't listen next time they start put your hand up, say firmly "STOP! I don't care and I wont listen" and change the subject to the weather or the football or a TV show. If they try again "STOP.
I have a friend who often wants to discuss subjects that are off limits, I've found this is the only thing that works.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 December 2018):
 I'm inclined to agree that he sounds like a narcissist and nothing is real unless it happens to him.
It would no more occur to him that you would have grounds to hate him any more than it would occur to you that someone might hate you because you borrowed a pen without permission.
These two events are not morally equal. I'm using that example to demonstrate the significance in HIS mind.
I can't fathom why your friends would even be reachable to this man for him to 'keep asking' them about you.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (1 December 2018):
 Dream man?
He’s probably realised what an absolute cock he is and wants to apologise for his actions. Personally I wouldn’t give him the time of day, what a cold hearted, pathetic excuse of a human being. Who could kick their partner out:
1. After such a terrible tragedy
2. With absolutely no explanation
Don’t give him another second in your thoughts. He’s trying to clear his conscience. Let it eat away at him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (1 December 2018):
 It's possible he is narcissistic and can't feel any empathy. He could also be trying to get narcissistic supply by wanting to know your whereabouts. If you are still upset about him then it means he has power over his emotions. It is a sick way to feel important about the effect he has on you.
As to how he could treat you so badly, he probably didn't want the baby at all. He couldn't kick a pregnant woman out, so as soon as you were not pregnant any more he made you go. But why, you didn't have a baby anymore. He knew you might get pregnant in the future so he didn't want to think about it because every time he had sex he didn't want to worry about pregnancy. Yeah, he just wouldn't use condoms.
Your friends should not have any contact with him. They should know better to shield you from him. Maybe he had a similar incident with some girlfriend that reminded him of you. Tell your friends you do not wish to hear from him again. He didn't like that you'd forgotten about him so he had to make his presence known again. Keep on ignoring him in sight, and also in your mind.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2018): He might be remorseful out of guilt; but he's far from dreamy!
Now stop and think. He kicked you out! He kicked you out after you miscarried a child!
You saw the nastiest side of a man you could ever see.
A word to the wise. Stay as far away from him as you can! He has a mean-streak the width of a six-lane highway!
Don't fall madly in-love with anyone. That's going completely overboard; and it's unrealistic love. Besides the fact, he didn't match you with it.
So he asks about you? Big deal! The time he should have cared was before he threw you out like trash! He's just trying to clean-up after himself. Everyone knows what a huge assh*le he is. It's more about him, and what people think of him; than it is about you!
Frankly, I wouldn't want any updates about the guy who humiliated and demeaned me at the lowest point in my life!
He's like the street lights, always there but that's it.
My advice. Forgive him, move on, and forget him!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (30 November 2018):
 I think your dream was actually a nightmare. Only a man who doesn't give a damn about someone he supposedly loved would kick her out right after she miscarried. Sorry but that is just the lowest of the low! Who cares if he asks friends about you? He doesn't care about you, he's trying to give off the impression that he's a caring guy and worried about you..um..he's not. He's a number one jerk. Tell your friends you don't care what he asks, tell them from on to tell him nothing, and you no longer want to hear anything about the creep.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2018):
 First off, OP I hope you have re-defined you idea of a "dream man" because no man worth a damned would kick his GF out right after she miscarried UNLESS he knew she has cheated or something worse.
As for talking to him... why would you? And as for him asking mutual friend about you... it's NOT because he cares but to make himself look like he is a caring guy. It's about HIM, not you.
Personally, someone like that... would be "dead" to me. any ANY friend who mentioned how he asked about you and blah blah, I would just tell them that I have no interest in him, talking about him or have anything to do about him so can we please change the subject?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2018): I would think now he feels guilty for what he did and rightly so that is awful I'm so sorry for you. Perhaps he had wanted to end things before you fell pregnant but didn't then when you miscarried maybe he thought that was the ideal moment to end things because there would no longer be a baby keeping you together. Very harsh and unfair. I would forget about him and certainly pay no more attention to him. Also I would tell my friends not to tell me if they have seen him anymore.
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