A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been doing online dating for the past 4-5 years. I have made a couple of friends from it which was a bonus. I have been chatting to a guy for a few week now and are meeting this weekend. He had had really bad health over the last 3 month and because of this it makes him very tired fast because hes pushing himself a bit too much but is slowly getting back to full health. The thing is i do really really like this guy but im worried he wont like me as much as i like him. I feel im too much in his face at times when we chat. He has said hes too laid back at times. I know everyone will say be myself but thats hard when im actually a big bag of nerves for once. Hes very confident as im not. Im hoping for some advice as previous dates havent got far ( being myself but thats their loss lol ) but id like this one to have a future. I am hoping his laid back attitude wont mind the dithery nervous me and he wants a second date. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, malvern +, writes (1 December 2018):
 Its very hard to judge a person from online chat. I've been through all this, they seem nice online but they're not what you expected when you get to meet them. Reserve any judgments until you meet, treat it as an evening out, don't expect too much. Incidentally I met my husband online. We sent 2 messages over 2 days, decided to meet on the 3rd day and have been together ever since. We could have messaged each other for weeks but neither of us could see the point. Too much messaging is a waste of time.
A
female
reader, Lostandfound2018 +, writes (1 December 2018):
I know how you feel and I used to do the same thing as well. This is until I got burned a couple of times. Be very careful getting caught up in the exciting stages as you might find out the guy isn't that great after all. Plus of you have these expectations, the guy will feel pressured.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 November 2018):
 You need to learn to chill, OP
JUST relax and try and go with the flow. It might be that in person YOU don't like him as much as you thought you would.
Dating is a process. A process of elimination. You meet someone, get to know them OVER time and then you BOTH figure out of you have enough in common, an attraction and perhaps mutual values and morals and hopes. And if you do, IT might work out. It might not.
It's ONLY been a few weeks of chatting OP. you REALLY don't know him as well as you THINK you do.
RELAX or you will push away someone who could potentially be a "keeper".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2018): think what went wrong on the other dates that didnt work out did you do the same thing everytime ? did you make all decisions ? do you always go to the same places ? do you show you are interested or point blank not. id have 1 drink before to calm those nerves but dont get drunk on the date if hes interested he wont mind any flaws and will want a second date if he doesnt then just keep it friendly and put it down to another experience. You have to 'kiss' a lot of frogs before finding your prince and you will get there
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2018): I would be very wary of getting too caught up in the idea of a second date or more until you actually meet him. How can you know you really like someone you have never met? On the internet people can masquerade themselves to come across however they like. Just see how things go and don't get too attached too quickly as that can scare off a lot of people
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