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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: a guy who has lied to you and lead you on for almost a year..has used you to get over someone else only to get back with that person. and then throw it in your face after wards..and talk about you badly to his associates when you've done nothing but try and be there for him.Nice girls always finish last?...):Luckily i'm not as hurt as i thought i would be..just curious as to why??How to get over a situation like this??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 oh my god. What you have described is EXACTLY what im going through with my ex. Only, Im completely the opposite to you....Im a heartbroken mess!! I didnt know there could be a bigger bastard out there than my ex.....obviously there is!!
My ex lied to me and lead me on. Said he loved me. All along he was using me to get back at his ex for cheating on him. But silly me had fallen in love with him. However, he doesnt dump me to get back with her. He dumped me for another woman. So he used me to build himself up again, sleep with me etc, then leaves me for another woman. And he now flaunts it in my face....kisses her, takes her everywhere with him. And he bitches about me to his friends although Ive done nothing but be there for him.
So I completely understand what youre going through but Im sorry I dont know how you have managed not to feel affected by this. It may be that you knew deep down what his game was so knew what to expect.......or maybe you are in denial and it may hit u later on. But what I can say to you is, and its what Ive been hearing from my family/friends, is to not blame yourself and to understand that it is him that is the bad person in this,. You, like me, have done nothing wrong and we cant let this change us and our behaviour towards relationships in the future. Unfortunately, there are nasty people out there who will take advantage of those who actually care. And its such a horrible feeling but all I can keep saying to myself is that they are the ones with the problem, they are the ones that dont deserve a relationship, not me. And also, Im a great believer of what goes around comes around. They will get their comeuppance, and we can laugh in their faces.
I would love to know how your getting on with it all. So feel free to private message me whenever. Chin up xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Thanx 4 the advice..I mean I was hurt, just not as hurt..at first I would act like everythings fine in front of everyone and then just cry when im alone..even though I have talked to my friends about it..im still just left hanging without any closure..and im just like why??..I think that I cried out all of my tears and I just can not be sad anymore...I made myself realize that nothings going to change so I must move on with my life.. no I do not want anything to do with this guy anymore because if he did this to me then I know that next time it will only be worse..I will admit that I am somwhat in denial but that is what is keeping me from being sad. How he did me was so f****d up. And no I do not even want to date anyone else right now...im actually afraid to be with anyone..afraid they may do me the same way..
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A
female
reader, starismine1  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 When you date a guy who is still emotionally attachd to another woman, you know it deep down inside. No matter how much he acts like he's into you, he will not do certain things that will keep him distancing himself emotionally. There is a strong shot of self worth that comes from being "wanted" on a superficial level by someone who you unconsciously know really still wants someone else. If you are not upset about what ultimately happened, it's because it is relieving you of feelings of resentment that have built up inside you, because you've know all along his interest in you was not really fulfilling you on an emotional level. And, usually when a guy lies that easily behind your back, you sense he is lying to your face about things throughout the relationship. Focus on seeing how little he fulfilled you, and not on how he treated you. Being happy with someone who really is into you and knowing when a guy really isn't while you're dating him is what you can take from this. Forget about what he did, and focus on what you deserve and want in your next relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): there is nothing to get over; don't return to this guy; and move on with your life; and don't look for a boyfriend or husband at this point.
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