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female
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anonymous
writes: how do you know if you still love your boyfriend or partner? or is it attachment because you dont wanna be alone?i get confused sometimes because i wonder if it's supposed to be like a fairy tale where you get butterflies all the time when you talk, and so on.... or is it supposed to die down where you get comfortable and ocassionally get all loved up!i dont know what it is. im so confused please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, On Cloud9  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 I often asked myself the same question and don't suppose you ever truly know until you are faced with being alone. I was so confused whether I was with him because i loved him or if i was just comfortable with him and I suppose looking back this confusion probably caused distance from my part, well he was the one that came to me and said that he wanted to end the relationship and it was then that i realised that I did love him and did want to be with him. You know that old saying, you don't know what you have until it is gone...well, the fortunate thing was he did not leave and we stayed together and are now having couselling to overcome any deep seated issues that there are surrounding this. I should add I have been with my finance for 10 years and carried this 'confusion' around all that time. It is a long time to wait and see what happens and you may end up wasting time you do have thinking this. I suggest that you take a break, now it doesn't have to be official, perhaps you go on a holiday with your friends for a fortnight and just assess how much you miss him and check those butterflies when you see him on your return.I sincerely wish you well...x
A
female
reader, On Cloud9 +, writes (18 September 2007):
I often asked myself the same question and don't suppose you ever truly know until you are faced with being alone. I was so confused whether I was with him because i loved him or if i was just comfortable with him and I suppose looking back this confusion probably caused distance from my part, well he was the one that came to me and said that he wanted to end the relationship and it was then that i realised that I did love him and did want to be with him. You know that old saying, you don't know what you have until it is gone...well, the fortunate thing was he did not leave and we stayed together and are now having couselling to overcome any deep seated issues that there are surrounding this. I should add I have been with my finance for 10 years and carried this 'confusion' around all that time. It is a long time to wait and see what happens and you may end up wasting time you do have thinking this. I suggest that you take a break, now it doesn't have to be official, perhaps you go on a holiday with your friends for a fortnight and just assess how much you miss him and check those butterflies when you see him on your return.I sincerely wish you well...x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Love is NOT feeling butterflies in your stomach when you see the person you're with. That is called lust, not love. Love can start off as that, but if definetly dies down & you don't feel butterflies any more once the relationship gets comfortable.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (18 September 2007):
 well its true love is no fairytale there is the norml set back where you feel like giving up but if you truley want it to work than you will work it out.
As long as you are enjoying your time together than just stay with him, its ok to be a bit confussed as it might be your first proper relationship or since you had your heart broken.
But you know when you are in love you do feel butterfiles in your stomach you can't wait to see him, when you are round him you feel so happy, thats part of it anyway. People are different
but keep with him to see what happens.
xxx good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Love is definately not like a fairytale. The ups and downs are what makes it stronger.
If you have doubts thats perfectly normal, as long as you still enjoy the company of the other person and you share alot of passion with each other. I believe that love is comfort and thats what makes it special.
I think if you were just attached to someone then you would be less inclined to spend time with them and would be looking elswhere for love.
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