A
male
age
41-50,
*aradox
writes:I moved in with my girlfriend a little under two years ago. We've been together since high school (13 years ago) and both of us agree it's the best thing we've done. Our relationship is solid and we very rarely argue apart from about one thing: housework. She is a teacher and puts a lot of hours into her job, while I keep my work and home life separate meaning that most, if not all, of the housework falls to me to do. As a result, I have almost no time to myself and as a fiercely independent spirit, I am getting frustrated and resentful.We're starting to row about it and while I've tried a few different approaches and suggested we get some paid help with things like the laundry, she's dead against it and insists 'we' can cope with it, we just need to be less fussy about ironing and cleaning. I like to maintain a clean house and do a little bit each day so nothing builds up too much; she likes to hit it in a big splurge and do everything in one weekend, but always lets something else take priority and then complains that none of her clothes are clean.I am starting a new job next month which is going to make my hours a lot longer with a harder commute, and I'm starting to regret taking it because I'm worried I will have no free time at all. How can we resolve this conflict and how can I get time back for my hobbies?
View related questions:
moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Paradox +, writes (4 November 2007):
Paradox is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I've started my new job and, distressingly and frustratingly, I am travelling three times as far and STILL having to do the lion share of things around the house. In spite of talking about the situation and making a pact to help more, she's still not committed to maintaining our home with the routine tasks. Sure, if I asked her to re-paint every room in the house, she'd be off like a shot because it only gets done once and then left for five years. When it comes to the regular things that need to be done most days, she's just not there with me.
It's one of those tricky problems, see. If it was a bloke being idle and not helping around the house, it'd be a case of "kick that fool to the kerb, girl" or something similar. Does anyone have any good advice for a guy who's slowly being worn out?
A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 As a happy compromise, could you sort of "assign" jobs? For example, she does the washing if you do the cleaning? Or something like that..
Although in your case, as you have suggest, a cleaner may be better, or even if you take the washing to a laundrettes to do or something it will get you a few hours back. Maybe your lady will change her attitude once she sees how your new job's going to affect you.
Sorry I can't be of more help - hope it all works out. x
...............................
|
