A
female
age
36-40,
*ady's little girl
writes:hiim in a LDR with my bf for almost one year i cant say that i love him and he loves me normally like the other couples do , our love story is unique and im so happy because im living in itthough we love each other strongly, we still have some dark sides or in another meaning we need to improve our relationship and make it stronger because in the last 9 months we had a lot of problems and we always missunderstand each other, and that makes the fights between us, in the same time , i want to be his bff and want to make him my bff - in addition to our relationship- i want us to be closer to each other, how? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dady's little girl +, writes (23 November 2010):
Dady's little girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThaaaanks aloooooot jilly
^_^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): Thank you OP (Daddy's little girl), I now understand a lot more how you met, what your history is, and that you've known each other a long time, and of course met each other a lot too...that is good.
Mystiquek is right, LDR are difficult but CAN and DO work. She has suggested a lot of things you can do to help the distance between you, and for you to feel closer. I think Skype is a great idea. Make sure you send letters by post too, the old fashioned traditional way, as nothing is so wonderful as receiving a handwritten letter perhaps with a light fragrance of your perfume, to remind him of you..
And if you love him - tell him, that will bring you closer, as if he's told you, and you're holding back, he may wonder why. So tell him!
Also I wonder if you can work towards moving closer to him, the country he's living in now, OR if he would move back to where you're living at some point in the future. Nothing is impossible if you want this relationship to work, it can be done, especially if you love each other.
Don't give up - look for ways to bring you closer, lots and lots of contact by phone, skype, email, text and of course love letters by post.
Good luck I hope it works out for you.
Jilly x
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 LDR are very difficult, take it from someone who knows! The best way to feel close is to always make the other person feel part of your life. Phone calls, talking on skype, emails, anything you can do to be able to feel that you are in their life. Surprise them with letters or small gifts by mail, call them unexpectedly sometimes, just to let them know that you are thinking of them. My guy and I have have a certain routine that we have kept up for years, we talk to each other other every single day around the same time. We talk several times a day, and its something that we both look forward to. Skype is so nice because you can SEE the person! There certainly can be misunderstandings when you are in a LDR..talking on the phone you can't see their face, or judge their emotions. Same with emails. But LDR can work...if both people really care and try. I won't say they are easy, but it can be done. GOOD LUCK!
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A
female
reader, Dady's little girl +, writes (23 November 2010):
Dady's little girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh seems like i couldnt explain the story in the right way
i meant with"i cant say that i love him " that my feelings towards him is more than the love and so is he (We adore each other ) thats why i said "our love story is unique"
We met since we were six years old and we were in the same school for six year we were really such best friends he used to come to my house and so am i , but cuz of his dad,s new job they were to leave to another country (before 4 years from now ) and we kept in touch by the internet and the phone i knew that he was loving me from the 5th grade and he also knew about my love to him but we didnt have the courage to tell about it cuz we were afraid of losing our friendship which started to grow stronger and stronger till he one day come and told me that he cant bear hidding his feeling since then our relationship started and i usted to see him several times each year and hang out together when he come to visit the country thnx 4 answering me
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2010): Hmmm...I'm seeing a few issues here already, even with so few lines.
LDR, can't say I love him, dark-sides, 9 months of fighting. I'm wondering IF this 'relationship' is ONE built around the internet, and NOT a real life relationship, where you MEET/DATE lots. "we always missunderstand each" is the sign to me that says, internet/virtual, as lots of misunderstandings occur via connecting this way, as us human being were not meant conduct a close relationship via modern technology, we have been given lots of ' senses' so we can read and understand what others are saying, such as eye contact, body language, listen to what they say, and how something is said, that is why it is NOT good to try and establish a relationship this way totally.
If this is as I suspect,just a virtual connection,without seeing each other very much, if at all, your problems won't get less, they will increase as the unnatural process of virtualality continues.
Would be interesting to know how you met, and IF this is just an internet relationship.
As I'm afraid, if it is, virtual, as much as may think it is, this is not a relationship in the true sense of a relationship. For a relationship to work you have to be together for at least 75% of the time by dating and being in each others company.
Jilly
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