A
male
age
36-40,
*ottenhamhotspur
writes:My girlfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. Unfortunatly, her last one was not so great. He would tell her she 'dressed like a whore' and other verbal absuses. He also used to slap her during sex and pass it off as 'normal' (she would later tell me that she 'never asked for it' and he likely did it because 'he knew [she] wouldn't leave him'). I was worried she might be into S and M activities, etc. , which I personally don't like the idea of at all, and she told me it was just a part of the bad relationship and not something she enjoyed or wanted. It's been hard to for me to accept this because I have very bad OCD and worry that she might just be saying this for the sake of our relationship. I feel so angry at this guy, even though I have never met him or even know his name. She still covers up alot and has a very hard time accepting compliments, etc. and she says he was really bad to her while they were together and she was 'young scared and naive' while in the relationship.I'm having a hard time, and I wish I could make this guy feel the pain and confusion I now feel. How can we get past this, and how can I drop him out of my mind so I can fully love my wonderful girlfriend? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (8 May 2012):
Some of us stays in a rut because we focus on the close door rather than focus on the open door.
You might want to start with, stop being angry with her ex becase he only did what she allow him to do to her.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 It is natural that you would feel anger towards someone who hurt someone you love. What you need to keep in mind is that she has ended that relationship and has chosen you to spend her life with. Focus on that rather than the past.
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