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age
26-29,
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writes: My husband and I have talked about trying to make our sex life better. What is the best way to show/teach him what I like and what gets me going? I know he doesn't have the experience I do, so it makes it a little more difficult for me. plz help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Dear Poster
Sex doesn't have to get boring in marriage, it should get better.
Here's some tips:
1.Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship.
2.Share with one another your sexual desires.
3.Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage.
4.Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is what makes sex great.
5.Sex in a long lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times a couple has made love, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction is still there.
6.When life becomes busy, and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Make sex one of your priorities.
7.Try to set the mood in advance.
8.If you want to have good sex at night, start the foreplay in the morning.
9.Let your spouse know you care and are thinking about them throughout the day by notes, e-mails, phone calls, hugs, etc.
Remember:
1.Being grouchy all day or ignoring your spouse during the day hurts your chances of having a positive lovemaking experience that evening.
2.Remember that sex isn't going to be perfect each time. Don't compare your sex life to the ones you see in movies or on television.
3.Recognize that abstinence now and then can be beneficial to your relationship if you start to lust after one another more.
Hope this is of assistance.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): you have received some good advice. All I want to add is that COMMUNICATION is very important; do lots of foreplay; learn to discover each other on different levels.
Do remember that sexual compatibility is very important.
Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto the annoyance writer,I am 18 years old. I don't know how it happened to say that I am only 10. I am unsure on how to fix it. I am not a minor I promise you that. I am sorry for the confusionTO Renata, Thank you for your advice, It is something that I will probably do. Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am unsure I it says I am 10, I am 18.I am unsure on how to change it. New to the site.
We are not yet married but engaged and have been for over a year. we have been together about two years, so that's how much experience together.
I will look into those books. Thank you for your advice it is something that I know is complicated. thank you for taking the time to read and replay to my post.
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (26 September 2008):
(What's with the "age 10 - 12" notation on your profile?)
How long have you been married to each other? How much sexual experience together?
Sex is a somewhat complicated activity that involves your mind and your emotions as well as your body. Like tennis, long division, or public speaking it takes practice and experience to do it well. Some folks seem to have a natural talent and need only a few words of coaching, while others must fight for feedback and work hard to improve their performance. And - more importantly - people are often very different in what they enjoy. It's a big mistake to think that what was pleasurable to one or two other partners will automatically be a major turn-on for your husband.
Get copies of "Joy of Sex" and "More Joy of Sex". I think these are still in print after almost 40 years, or you can find copies on E-Bay quite inexpensively. These books are organized something like an encyclopedia, with plenty of illustrations and short articles (usually only a paragraph to a page long) about positions, techniques, problems, etc, etc, related to sex. The two of you can go through them together, commenting on what is written or illustrated and finding things you want to try. Or, take a book separately and pass it back and forth, perhaps under the pillow, with little notes like "Let's try pg 275" or "I'm in the minority on pg 83!". It'll take most of a year to really go through them - and by then your tastes and life-situation may have changed enough to make starting from the beginning a good idea.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): I am afraid that your question and the age indicated does not make sense.
I am not prepared to forward information as requested to a minor as indicated.
Can you please verify.
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female
reader, Renata1967 +, writes (26 September 2008):
First all, I hope you aren't really in the 10-12 age group like it says in your desciption, but that must have been an oopsie, right?!Since it's already a topic you both have discussed and the door has now been opened, try writing it down on paper or leave it WordPad on your (mutually shared) computer. Describe specifically what turns you on: What you really like, what you don't like, what you'd like to try or always wondered about trying. Sometimes, I think that it's just easier to write it down than saying it face-to-face, but only to get things started. Plus, he can have the "naughty list" to look at and arouse/inspire him even further later. DON'T send this "list" in an e-mail though - you wouldn't want it to somehow accidently get sent out to others!! This worked for me and my guy over this summer while things seemed to be going stale after 10+ years. Happy lovin' to ya....
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