A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm 22 and my bf will be 24 in a couple of months. We've been dating about 1.5 years and up until recently it was so wonderful. He is my first long term boyfriend and I lost my virginity to him. He has had prior relationships lasting a few months at a time and has experienced the "dating" world. I love him very much, and he always tells me that he loves me more and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Lately we've been having some problems..due to the fact that he revealed he only kissed a couple of girls early in our dating (about 1 or 2 months in) but then stopped because he realized he had feelings for me only. Ever since he told me, i've been really undecided about our relationship. I know people make mistakes and i know it took courage to tell me the truth after so long and risk the consquences, but i still don't feel the way i used to when i was with him. For the first time, i feel like maybe he isn't the one for me and the only way i would figure that out is if i dated like he did. He's all i've ever known and i really dont know what else is out there. At the same time, despite how my feelings have changed for him, I still know that i love him and i believe he's sorry for what he did and breaking up with him seems like an unbearable thing to do. I don't want to lose him because i still love him and i know he loves me, and if we part i wonder if i will regret my decision and will it be too late to get back what we lost? I'm just in a weird situation where i really don't know what i want, and after all i'm still so young and don't feel ready to decide what i want for the rest of my life right now. How can my bf really be so certain that i'm the one for him?
View related questions:
lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Yuna~  +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Just remember there’s no guarantee in life. You will never know what will happen in a relationship no matter if you started dating someone, in a long term relationship, or even after getting married. What’s important is do you love him? What love means is do you care for him as much as you care for yourself? Can you see yourself with him? Do you feel happy to be with him?I know it’s hard for you to accept his kissing incidents at the beginning of your relationship. I honestly have to say he is an honest guy and should be respected. He wanted to tell you because he doesn’t want to lie to you. He can never tell you and you will still never know. (Think about whether you have anything you’re hiding from him) Maybe you should look at him at a different light. Some people think dating means testing, when he calls you girlfriend, that’s like taking a final exam, until he makes love to you that will be graduation. I know a lot of guys (good responsible guy) think like that. Of course as a girl, we think as soon as you decided to “date” someone, it’s a serious relationship. Your case isn’t that bad consider he only kissed other girls. It can be 10 times worst. Dating around isn’t the solution in your case. I know there’s temptation to see if you can find someone even better. If you give up this relationship, there’s not guarantee if you will find a better one. Love is love. The only person who can decide if you love him or not, is you. And if you don’t love him, then you should leave this relationship. But you shouldn’t leave the relationship because you wanted to see what else is available. You might regret about this decision. Also, if you want to put a pause on the relationship, that’s not fair to him. If you decide to get back together afterward, I don’t think it’ll ever be the same.Yes, you are young. You do not have to decide the rest of your life yet. You don’t need to rush into marriage if you don’t feel like it. The excitement of moving in and marriage will show you when it’s time.Good luck!
|
