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*awnyowl
writes:When D-Day came my xMM dumped me like a hot potatoe after a year of telling me how much he loved me...does he still care for me, think of me or did his feelings evaporate with the panic of W finding out? I just find it so difficult to understand how love can turn to indifference in a second. It has been a month since D-Day and he has not contacted me. It started out as a mutual 'friends with sex' relationship until he professed his love for me...and the rest is history. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Married men lie,by definition. They lie constantly to their wifes, so they can very possibly lie to their mistresses too. So if I were a mistress I'd take anything my MM says with a pinch of salt and before believing his love declarations I'd check if they are backed up by his actions- like coming clean with his wife ,rather then panicking at the tought of being caught ! Other than that, it's all talk. And talk is cheap.
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female
reader, tawnyowl +, writes (15 February 2011):
tawnyowl is verified as being by the original poster of the question I understand what you are saying but this was supposed to a 'sexual friendship' at the begining until he talked about love and then it got involved, so you see he didnt need to tell me he loved me to make our friendship into a sexual one or I would totally agree with you. Hence, sounds ridiculous now, my moral compass went askew as I didnt think the relationship would amount to anything significant enough to become a problem.
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reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (15 February 2011):
Your story is not unusual at all. Take a look around this site and you will find plenty of horror stories of women (and men) who have wasted valuable time chasing a married or otherwise unavailable lover and who deluded themselves into believing that it would actually all work out. Life does not work that way. Getting involved with a married man is a losing game. First off, the relationship you are investing in is based in deception. Not a good start at all. Secondly, your affair partner is a cheater -- a dishonest person -- a coward essentially who has to sneak around and who doesn't have the courage to live his life truthfully and who basically cares only about himself. Not exactly a prince. More like a frog.
This brings us to your question. Your question betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the methods employed by cheaters to get what they want. It's not love your cheater was really expressing. It was most likely lust on his part. Any cheater will tell you he loves you if he wants to get in your pants, or continue doing so. If he really loved you in the truest sense of that word, he'd be with you. That he is not should tell you something. His "love" didn't turn to indifference. He was always indifferent. You just couldn't see it.
Why spend your time wondering what this assclown is doing, thinking, drinking, eating, etc? It doesn't matter. Start investing your time in a real relationship that is legitimate and has a chance to succeed. Chasing and ruminating over unavailable men is nothing but a waste of precious time. Good luck.
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