A
female
age
30-35,
*ardboardkid
writes:OK I have a question that I'm really unclear about. NOTE: I dont have anything against gays/lesbiansOK so... I know a few people who are lesbians and I really want to know if people who are gay/lesbian, do you know it when you're small? like one day you'll be like... oh I'm different.. Is it like that? or do you just know it without being surprised? Or does it take you ages to realize that you like the same sex???
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male
reader, Dr. Hawk  +, writes (2 March 2011):
Now late bloomers are typically caused by imprintation from your parents aswell what society has taught you. For example, if a gay child is raised strait then a phsyicological shell may form, preventing the true sexual identity from emerging until much later in life. If you are unsure consult with a docter or a counsler. Make sure that whoever in which you choose to confide your doubts is completly unbiased in any way. Definetly not your friends and probably outside the range of relatives.
A
female
reader, alexanderhan  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 i've known since i was little, it never really surprised me and i thought it was "normal" that i liked girls, i never saw anything wrong with it. i don't know how to explain it, i just knew. the same as people who are straight just know that they are.
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A
female
reader, scorpian lady +, writes (11 January 2009):
As many people have said, how do you know you are straight? If you are you don't question it, because it's the norm, what's expected etc etc
I grew up and never thought about sexuality.Just went with the flow. Met a guy, got married and had three beautifull children. I never considered myself anything, i was just a wife and a mum, no sexual labels. then to my surprise i feel in love with an amazing woman. I left my marriage and can honestly say i have never felt so loved, nor loved to such depths before. I truely feel 'right' being with my girlfriend. I now know whahas always been missing from my life, it just took a long time for me to wake up to that fact.
So do we know from young? some of my friends did, people my age (41) tend to say they never knew. I think i never knew because society did not really show another way of life. I wnet with expectations and never really looked at myself as beingan independent, choice making person. The young people of today are more in tune with themselves and so realise what they are feeling. I do think we are borns way, we just not wake up to this fact until we wake up to the inner 'us'
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): From what I understand from every gay friend I ever had, its the same way those of are who are know we are straight. No one told me... I just was.
As a straight woman, I am big believer that homosexuality is not a choice. If it is, then by definition, we make the choice to be straight. I didn't make a choice to be straight; I just am. I have no urge whatsoever to do anything sexual with another woman. Ever.
Like others have said, I do believe that those gays who come out later in life simply have succombed to societal pressures to be straight, but its going against who they are until they finally have the courage to stand up for themselves, tell society to go f*ck itself and do what makes them happy and what for them is right.
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A
female
reader, elisa_lee +, writes (4 January 2009):
 It varies. Some people know it, recognize it and accept it when they are very young. Others, more often from less accepting families or traditions, may suppress the feelings and not "realize" or acknowledge it until they are 30 or 40 or older!
I "realized" when I was 15 and feeling aroused by a woman in a music video, but then noticed the many other times girls and women had turned me on or kindled my interest and I had sort of pushed it out of mind. It's really kind of funny, how you can have even a full blown crush but not realize it until you acknowledge it's possible. In my young world, liking other girls was not possible. If you allow it to stay in your mind and see how you feel.. then you will likely have an accurate idea of whether something is up in that direction.
You could be bisexual, which may appear to confuse matters, but it is entirely possible. Also, I believe it can change over the course of one's life.. even for people who think they are 100% straight or gay CAN suddenly fall in love with someone who changes their mind. Not likely, but people change, things happen...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): im 15 and lately i dont know if im a lesbian. ive been with boys and in every relationship theres never been a spark, ive never felt anytihng and then one day i kissed a girl at a drunken party because she wanted to show of infront of the boys and it felt different. i really dont know what to do becasue non of my friends are gay and there really judgemental and my mum is aswell. so to answer your question it can start at any age a guess and you ask how do people know if there gay, well how do you know if people are straight, look at it like that
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A
male
reader, pietry  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Homosexual persons are not born like this. Neither are the rest. When you are born, you are told " you are a boy " or "you are a girl". That changes nothing about oneself. In normal cases children develop in a family with a mother and father. This way, they have to think it's normal to have a heterosexual relationship. Things could change when they reach puberty. At this moment one can try to approach some other sex person, because this is considered normal by his/her education and current knowledge. They might have heterosexual relationships for years, with no problem. What can happen is that during the life, at a certain moment they start to ask themselves if this is actually what they feel. Getting closer with someone of the same sex can change their minds. At this moment they don't even know if they are homosexual or heterosexual. They might discover that they enjoy more a person of the same sex as them. Education and social constrains could destroy such feelings or the person might want to restrain them. They might not even realize what is happening to them. Childhood is one of the most important factor, if one had a same sex very good friend and they could been a little more intimate, this could affect the future, having the person inclined to discover more about this type of relationship.
There are possible cases when they solely reject the opposite sex just because they feel this way, the opposite sex cannot satisfy them sentimentally or in any other way.
In short terms, they are usually torn between social constrains and their feeling or unclear about their own feelings and it takes a lot of time to be sure of one's preference.
All of us can't be 100 % hetero or homosexual too. Both genders have both types of sexual hormones, just that the quantities differ
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (1 January 2009):
 you don't wake up and say damn i gotta get to work.. and boy do i fancy some man loving right about now.
you're born like it its not a choice, you either are or arn't.
some people repress it due to families pressuring them to have kids or they are homophobic and put that upon the child.
how do you know you like guys? how do you not know you are gay?
you just know
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): I knew I was lesbian since I don't know when. And I was never surprised. It is just like when you are born in your family, you are never surprised that they are your family.
It's just in my blood. I never think if I am lesbian or not. I grew up having feelings for girls.
But that's just me. Some of my ex are not born lesbian but turn to be one after they fall in love with people like us. I hope this help.
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A
male
reader, Solomon Farakawa +, writes (1 January 2009):
is a matter of knowing yourself individually its not somthing that happens coinsidentally,for example you cant be dreaming and working towards a certain goal and eventually getting something different.thank you!
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