A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have a question cause I can't find the answer on my own! I'm dating a guy for 4 months now. At the beginning I kept saying that I don't want a "boyfriend" so he doesn't act like it, he doesn't invite me to go out with him and his friends, and he doesn't ask me much cause he doesn't want to "invade my intimacy".Now that I know him more, I like him more, and have feelings for him but I don't know how to tell him, he thinks I still don't want a boyfriend. I invited him to my b-day and he said yes! so he will meet my friends. :) I'm happy for that but still I want to tell him I want to be exclusive with him, should I? now I'm afraid to lose him :(. Please I need some advice, thank you guys!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): Thank you for your answers, it made me think, I talked to him and the odds weren´t good, but now I know how he thinks and communication is always the key.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Chigirl is spot on here. Guys are pretty straightforward, and as long as he doesn't think you've been out sleeping with a bunch of other dudes, he'll probably be willing to move forward after a little bit of thought.
Word of warning: when he meets your friends, be careful that they don't sabotage the relationship by putting him through a gauntlet or making him miserable, or claiming that you deserve better than him. I don't know why chicks do that, but keep an eye out and be prepared to take him away from them if they do.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 Chigirl is so right. Tell him.
On the other hand, he may not "JUMP" at the chance. He may have had second thoughts all this time. This change of heart makes you look moody. So he might more than "need some time to think about it". Anyways, you have to tell him, and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 The very best thing to do is to keep it simple: tell him. "I am ready to be in a committed and official relationship now, if you want the same. If you want time to think about it I will give you that. But I want you to know that I am now ready to take this relationship to the next level". For example. If he's as much into you as he appears to be I think he will jump at the chance within seconds. But don't get disappointed if he wants some time to think about it. It'll be a big difference after all to how you've been doing things for the past months.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): Are you sure he doesn't just want friends with benefits and that's all he ever wanted? How do you know he wants a relationship? Saying he doesn't want to invade your intimacy doesn't sound right, like he wants to keep things casual. Usually women don't keep telling guys they don't want a relationship if they are having sex with him unless thats what HE is saying. The question sounds like another spin on how to turn a casual sex partner into a boyfriend and the odds aren't good!
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