A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Having trust issues with b/f of 3 yrs. I've caught him in several lies. Small ones, like he rec'd a letter from his sister a few months ago, and I happened upon it one day, so later I asked him casually if he ever heard from her and he said No. Medium ones, like whether an ex-girfriend still contacted him, he said No but not 2 days later, she sent an I.M. while I was on the computer and it appeared to be a leftover conversation they'd had early that week. Large one, like a woman he knows was trying to arrange some kind of hook up with him when he was visiting another city for business, and I would never have known, except she forwarded me the emails because she felt bad that he was willing to see someone behind my back. Yet he wonders why I don't completely trust him. Anytime there's a new female in his office, I get a little suspicious, especially when he's always busy for lunch, and works late suddenly. He accuses me of never trusting him and I sometimes have to re-count a few instances, then he gets mad and says I'm bringing up the past. He doesn't see the connection to his own pattern of behavior and my mis-trust. Either that or he's in denial and trying to shift the blame to someone. I don't know how to re-build my trust again and other than that, we have a pretty good thing. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (24 June 2009):
 well when guys try to shift the blame you definately know something is going on because they're the ones doing the dirty but they want to make you out to be the bad person.
i've been in a situation where i was accused of cheating by my best friends girlfriend he kept telling me she thought we were seeing eachother behind her back i was like it's not what i would do to ANYONE which i wouldn't i respect people's relationships anyways it turned out she was cheating all along.
so he tries to shift the blame then hell yeah you've got every right to confront him and be suspicious of him i meanyou've clearly got evidence about situations going on and he's denying it then trying to make you out to be the bad person by saying you don't trust him when you've got every right to not trust him.
this really boils down to the fact can you trust him enough to carry on being with him?
you're saying you get suspicious when a new woman goes to his work place... can you really continue you're relationship with him knowing he's been talking to other women talking with his ex and working late?
you need to think long and hard about the relationship you've got infront of you and whether or not you can continue this kind of thing with your boyfriend.
you can't keep questioning where he is and who he is with what he will be doing whose he been talking to?
it's not good for the relationship.
you need to have a serious think about what you really want to do whether you can cope with it and hope he's not cheating or doing anything unfaithful or whether you crack down and show him you're not going to be made a fool of.
hope this helps :) good luck message me you need anything.x x x x x ilovebowsandcherries x x x x x
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