A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need to end things with my live-in boyfriend. This situation may sound totally screwed up but it's my life. I've come to except that nothing in life is easy. But to get to my story. I am currently living with my boyfriend. I love him he is a great person and I know he cares ALOT about me. And the last thing I want to do is hurt him. So I can't drag this on he deserves to be happy and move on with his life. We have been dating for two years. And at the time that we met what I was lacking in my past relationship with my ex fiance I found in my relationship with him. I was young and I don't think I realized that a relationship is hard work. It's not a fairytale that my Mom used to read to me when I was a little girl! I've gone through alot in the past few years and I've realized that the love that my ex fiance and I have was something that I don't think I will ever find with anyone else. It's unconditional love and that's what I want. I am not cheating on my boyfriend. But I can't stop my feelings for my ex. And it's not fair for me to have these feelings and pretend that things are ok. As far as my relationship with my boyfriend. We get along great, we have fun together, and I will always care about him! But when I think about my future and who I want to be my husband and someday the father of my children and the one that I hopefully get to grow old with....it hurts to say but it's not him. We just recently moved in together. It's been about a month and a half. I can financial take care of myself there but he couldn't and I'm sure he wouldn't want to. He has a cousin that lives not too far from where we stay now that he has lived with in the past and I'm sure could stay with now. So I know that he will have a place to stay and it will be no problem. But I guess I'm just worried about how I tell him something like this! It will completely shock him. Like I said we have no problems far as fighting or anything like that goes. I'd just like some advice as to how to break something like this to someone that you honestly care about and don't want to see hurt. I don't know if I am making a mistake or not. I just pray that I do what God's will for me is. I love my boyfriend but I don't think that for the long run he is the right one......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): I believe you should let him know the truth, I'm going through the same situation and it's breaking my heart because the man I love is my world but I feel that I should wait. I am young and I believe if you love something you should let it go and if it comes back then that is how you know be truth because if you don't you will regret it forever.
A
female
reader, Tiger14 +, writes (3 March 2009):
 i kno exactly how u feel im kind of in the same situation i an engaged and i still love my ex. when i told my fiance he flipped out and broke up with me but now we are back together. i still feel likei love my ex and i dont kno wat to do. sometimes i feel like breaking up with my fiance but i dont want to hurt his feelings because he is so sweet and nice to me. he is a family person and everyone in my family loves him. i love him too but he is not the only one i love and i dont know who to choose
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): Hey,It's obvious that you have thought this through a lot [thinking about where he will live etc], so you must really want to break up with him. It will be better in the long run [easier said than done i know] if you tell him now, than it will be saying no if he proposes when he gets more serious about you! Think about it as ripping a plaster [i've noticed your american so 'band aid'?] off: better to be quick as its less painful that doing it slowly and dragging it out! Wait till he gets home, tell him you need to talk, and have a word with him. Whatever you decide to say, i hope everything works out okay, and good luck xox
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A
female
reader, Plutonious +, writes (2 March 2009):
Breaking up with some one is never easy. It's pretty tough to actually go on and do it. It's even harder before you do it, because of all the possibilities that might happen and what might he do afterwards, when you do say the break up speech. If you are not happy with him, and you are for sure what you want out of it, and if you are sure you are ready to say it to him, then do it. It won't be easy, but in the end it's what you are going to have to do. It's a risk you are going to take. I know you wish not to hurt him, but if you are planning to you will hurt him. Unfortunately. If this is the best thing for both of you and especially you, you have to do it. Just sit him down, let him know how you feel about him first, and foremost in the most sweetest way you can. then let him know how you feel and how you can't be with him anymore.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 As you said if you think it's God's will you will just have to come clean to him and tell him how you feel.
It will hurt, but it is better that you are honest, than living a lie and eventually resenting him, because he isn't the guy you want him to be.
It's going to be much fairer in the long run to be honest and let him find a girl who actually loves him.
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