A
male
age
36-40,
*rymsoul
writes:Hey aunts. I need some SERIOUS help. I'm having trouble telling if a girl likes me or not. I've only had two girlfriends in my 24 years of living. I think the reason for that is because I never step out of my comfort zone. When I see a girl I like, I just avoid her. For example. If she's one of two available cashiers at a grocery store, I'll intentionally go to the other cashier even if the line is longer.I'm not sure what I'm running away from. Is it rejection? Committment? Feeling new grounds? Plus it's not like she's even made any clear signs to noticing me. My first problem is approaching them. My second is knowing which one I have the most success with. How can I tell if a girl could be potentially checking me out. I know it's rare for a girl to just up and ask a guy out, so it's my responsibility to man up and do it. I'd just like to know the signs a girl might give to let you know "Hey, I'm interested if you are."Thank you, aunts, for taking the time to read my dilemna. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 You've gotten good answers so far, I want to just add one quick point. Just a reminder, women in public spaces can be subjected to harassment from strangers, so be mindful to put yourself in her shoes before approaching. You know you don't have malicious intent, but she doesn't. And if she does turn you down, just thank her for her time and back off. Because it can be genuinely frightening when a guy you've never met before won't take no for an answer.
I know a lot of guys don't think about this, but women in public have to be mindful of this every time they go out. For instance I've been followed off trains, had a man on transit STARE at me for a good 10 minutes, had a man on a street yell lewd things at me (and then call me names because I didn't respond), and one time I responded to someone asking about my book only to be invited back to his apartment and loudly called names when I declined. So just keep this in mind when you do approach that she doesn't know you or who you are, and that often when women in public places are approached by strange men, it is to be harassed.
In order to be mindful of this, pay attention to things like eye contact. If she avoids eye contact, she wants to be alone. Same with headphones, being extremely engrossed in a book or a game on her phone. If she returns eye contact or a smile, it's a good sign she may want to talk to you. I really don't mean to sound super negative, I just want you to be careful/proceed with caution. You will have better chances catching her attention if you put yourself in her shoes about this.
A
male
reader, grymsoul +, writes (27 March 2012):
grymsoul is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for all of your advise. I've learned a lot from each of your comments. Sometimes the fear of the unknown is too much for me handle but I have to realize I only live once and I won't be young forever. Time to get a move on!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
 sometimes they are too shy to 'check you out'
How about you stop seeing girls as potential dates and see them just as people... takes them off the "wow GIRLS they sit to pee aren't they magical creatures" pedestal.
Life is NOT about success... LIFE is about taking CHANCES and learning from your mistakes...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 You need to locate and fall for that rare woman who is able to determine that a guy exhibits his interest in her by avoiding or ignoring her.....
P.S. Until/unless you "man up" (your words) you're going to spend a lot of Friday and Saturday nights with the Palm-er sisters.....
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Sounds like your just scared, maybe you should try doing everything EXACTLY!! the opposite of what your doing now, no matter how hard it is, make yourself do it, see what happens, then since your already there, just make small chit chat, then every time you go to that store, make sure you go thru her line, believe me, she will start to remember you, then when you can tell she does, start asking her personal questions, not to personal, it's a little hard as im sure she has to be quick when shes ringing people up, or just ask her to meet somewhere in public and then discuss shit with her.
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