| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,soo, there's this guy, who we'll call jake. we're both 19 (he's about six months older than me). we met back in december when i was on my first date with his ex-best-friend, who i used to talk to (and no, i'm not the reason for their falling out...that's a long, complicated story that i won't go into). soo, obviously, when i first met him, i didn't really think too much about it, because i was into the other guy. however, i couldn't deny that i thought he was pretty cute (his eyes are absolutely BEAUTIFUl, and when he smiles...*swoon*), and he seemed like a nice guy.by january, things had fallen through with the other guy. i'll just go ahead and admit this: one night, i was creeping on his facebook page, and in doing so, i stumbled upon jake's profile. i sent him a friend request, and a little while later, he accepted. then, i got a text from an unknown number, and it turned out that it was jake. we talked for a little while, and he actually got kind of flirty.since then, we've talked some more and have even hung out several times. during those times, we've made out, and i've given him oral. and somewhere in the midst of all of this, i've realized that i really, really like him. there's chemistry between us; whenever we hang out, it feels soo right.at this point, we kind of have the whole little friends-with-benefits thing going on. but like i said before...i really, really like this guy. and i want to be MORE than just his friend with benefits; i want an actual relationship with him. but i'm afraid that he doesn't want the same thing with me...and i'm scared that if i tell him i like him, it'll scare him off... and i REALLY don't want to do that. how can i tell him i like him and figure out if we can start a relationship?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 Tell him exaclty that. "I like you and I want to figure out if we can start a relationship" Things said up front have the benefits of being very clear and (usually) requiring a clear reaction from the other party.
I have the feeling that you're afraid you'll lose him if you ask. To be blunt, so far you don't "have" him. You're only friends with benefits. If you want to take things further, you have to speak your mind.
Good luck.
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